Smellerific: That Looming Question

Upon discovering my intimate knowledge of the world of fragrances, male compainions often ask that fateful question: “Which of these colognes will get me laid?”
Now, before you get excited (or laugh at the ridiculous question), I have some fine print for you. There is no magic formula, no computer program, no holy grail that will make women of all kinds lust after you solely based on the way you smell. TRUST ME, I would know.
With that in mind, I have a few suggestions that could, at the very least, improve your chances slightly.
Le Male by Jean Paul Gaultier is a fantastic clubbing scent that is sweet and sensual. Wear it to your next frat party.
Gucci Envy is incredibly sexy, enticingly sultry and inviting beyond belief. Save this for romantic dates with your special someone.
Lastly, if you just want to smell like raw, animalistic sex, dig deep into your pockets and get a bottle of Musc Ravageur by Frederic Malle — this is a go-to for a night of fiery passion.
Oh, and please use protection.