October 25, 2007

The Bias Cut

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First, I would like to apologize to anybody who saw me before 12 p.m. yesterday. I was recovering from a fever and after 14 hours of sleep, without proper hairbrushing or primping, I headed to Gannett and a midterm. Now, I understand that incidents like mine yesterday sometimes force us to put fashion on the back burner. But, it is important to limit such situations. To be fair, my clothing was all clean, properly fitting and well-ironed. While nothing I wore was particularly cute, not wearing eye-catching clothes was intentional — which, as a side note, brings me to Bias Cut rule 183-ish: When sick (or just looking the part), try your best NOT to stand out by wearing clean and well-fitting basics. Holding your head down and avoiding eye contact on campus does not hurt, either.
Amidst all of that chaos and over the counter drug use yesterday morning, I swear I saw a girl wearing the full trifecta of Bias-Cut Do Nots: blue leggings that weren’t very long, Uggs and a Vera Bradley messenger bag. She looked well rested, showered and in good health. I might have been on too much Theraflu but my point being, that on a day she shouldn’t be pulling the S.O.S. card, she was a walking Bias-Cut Do Not. I have also noticed fairly to quite often that in the comfort apparel sector of Cornell Fashion, students have been wearing too much sorority and fraternity apparel as well as Cornell sweats.
To anger as few of my friends and potentially new friends as possible, I would like to make note that I secretly want a sweatshirt from every sorority on campus (please feel free to send me free samples, Size S, maybe M). I also think it is great that people have so much pride in their sisterhood or brotherhood that they feel compelled to wear their Greek letters on their butts, bags and chests. We are all proud of you for surviving Rush Week and pledging, but maybe that enthusiasm should be kept in check from time to time.
I mean, I don’t walk around with a rainbow flag bracelet, so you beat me on the whole pride thing. But that might just be because I find the flag to have too many colors that don’t exactly mesh well or make a pretty picture. I obviously didn’t design it and most of my gay fashion-loving-friends claim not to be involved with its creation as well.
Sporting sorority/frat as well as Cornell sweat apparel is awful when the logo is the centerpoint of your whole outfit. Especially with Cornell sweathshirts — heads up, we all know you go here. Those are mostly made for visitors, alumni, friends and family. Think of what runs through your mind when you see someone sporting an “I Heart NY” shirt down Fifth Avenue. I am guessing that “cool local” is not involved in your inner monologue.
And if you are going to sport the representin’ apparel, please accessorize — wear a cute bag, not a tote with another logo or group of Greek Letters, but a stylish bag (maybe a Rebecca Minkoff or a leather bag that doesn’t scream the designer).
Yes, a big problem is in the way people are wearing these sweats. If you are wearing sweatshirts, totes and sweatpants all at the same time and the only footwear that can possibly be matched is running sneakers or Uggs, you have a problem. Switch those sweat pants to jeans or cute cords.
Also, if the sweartshirt or t-shirt basically brands you as an affiliate with a fraternity or sorority for a certain party, you are better off keeping the memorabilia as a bed shirt. Suggestion: A more fashionable approach for your next party would maybe be to choose a couple of signature colors for your affiliates to wear. Seeing all those t-shirts on a huge pack is a massive headache waiting to happen and huge fashion faux pas.
Lastly, congratulations on joining your sisterhood/brotherhood, represent with as much style as possible — and, no, I am not angry to all the sorority’s for not letting me rush … it was your loss. Actually, I must say that at the moment I am feeling particularly upbeat, although a little cloudy-headed. Is Tylenol with Codeine meant to be taken less than four teaspoons at a time? Hmmm…
So rest up, dress well and try to keep the excessive school spirit focused on athletic events!