This article appeared in the 2007 edition of the annual Halloween joke issue. The content below was intended for entertainment and parody purposes only and is not true. Happy Halloween!
Bones rattle, demons wistfully gale and hellcats howl. Collectively these sonically apparitional sensations craft a tintamar yet pleasing uproar. Within the opening seconds, Bobbie Boris Pickett and The Crypt-Kickers clank away on thunderous drums, composing a cryptic scene of shadows, rain and noir. Mr. Pickett’s epicurean choral expression concocts a hallowed rhythm and spectral sphere, which harkens back to a distant past where spirits haunt the gallows — meaning: “Monster Mash” meshes many metaphysical muses into a macbre mosaic of murderous musical mention. This consummate melody deploys chills like soldiers up the battlefield-spine of any young costumed being. Caution: Dancing may ensue.