Celebrate Good Times … And Average Ones

There were many things that pissed me off about the Red Sox winning the World Series. One, I am a Yankee fan. Two, I lost a bet that requires me to wear a Red Sox hat as my facebook picture (to this day I have lost some integrity because I refused to own up to the bet that I not only suggested but shook on — I just can’t do it). Third and finally, I became increasingly jealous of the post-game celebration. Champagne bottles poppin’ everywhere to the point wear David Ortiz and the Sox had to wear goggles, the childish jumping up and down, the Jonathan Papelbon celebration dance, it all pissed me off.
And yes, seeing the team I was cultured to hate was part of the reason for my high level of piss-off — as I would like to term it — it also irked me because I realized that I will never be able to celebrate like that, even if the Yankees win.
Thinking about it some more, I became increasingly jealous of all people who still get to compete in sports at a competitive level. From Chad Johnson’s various touchdown dances, to Kobe Bryant doing the classic Michael Jordan fist-pump after a game-winning shot, to the players who rush the mound after a perfect game has been pitched, to the North Carolinas of the world who get to tear down the nets after winning the NCAA Tournament, I envy you all.
While some of you reading this column still have the chance to celebrate like the aforementioned people because you are Cornell athletes, many reading this work of beauty won’t have this chance outside of intramural sports. And even when you win an intramural sport championship, you know that it is only a lesser version of the real thing. You know that if you celebrate too hard, it can only lead to numerous jokes about you and your overexcitement.
It seems that the real lavish celebrations are saved for college and professional sports teams — unless you’re Diddy. In his case, anything is possible.
But I, and I am sure many of you, want to experience these moments. I mean, who ever said that extravagant celebrations were limited to only athletes? You want to drench your friends/ teammates with bottles of champagne, you want to do a little end zone dance now and again … you want those moments.
I, for one, will start to party just like the aforementioned athletes. Not only as a Cornelian, but as a college student, there are many things worthy of celebration. The occurrences range from, but are not limited to: getting an A in a class or on a test, getting a quality internship or job, getting into grad school, hooking up with a desired female, randomly hooking up with a desired female and beating your friends in a drinking competition. Those are all worthy causes.
Now, the question is: what celebration applies to what achievement? You can’t just go around poppin’ bottles just because you made it to your 9:05 class on time. (For the record, I don’t remember the last time I attended one). So let’s say that an A on a test requires — yes, requires — upon its reception, a little dance, a shimmy some might even say. And yes, I don’t care if you see the grade on blackboard and everybody in Uris stares you down because of it. You just got an A at Cornell — celebrate. F.Y.I., certain easy-A classes do not count, i.e. D SOC 101 and HE 100 (Yeah, I just helped some of you out with course enroll, you love me). Let’s say an A in a class requires a celebratory bottle of Andre. In an ideal world, you would have a group of friends who got A’s in a certain class, then you can all celebrate with bottles. That, my friends, might just turn into a party.
Moving on to the whole hookup situation, let’s say for every hookup, you do a little fist pump. I know, its nothing too crazy, but I’m assuming you are too tired to go wild.
And for everything else, you’re own your own.