Keep sending them to [email protected] Thursdays, right here in DAZE.
Freshman girl: You know, I could really go for a glass of apple cider right now. If only I wasn’t allergic to fruit.
Guy: How do you spell bureaucracy?
Girl: You have a spell checker right in front of you.
Guy: I’m that far off!?
— Uris computer lab
Stoner 1: Pot’s like, not bad for you. Like, how is it bad for you?
Stoner 2: It kills brain cells.
Stoner 1: Yeah, but, like I have an abundance of brain cells.
Stoner 2: So then you’ll just be average?
Stoner 1: Guess so. But I never liked being average.
Stoner 2: Tough luck.
—Bio 109 lecture.
[In reference to a beaver]
Asian Girl: I told it “Stay” and it listened to me!