Smellerific: Looking for Love?

So you’ve listened to my suggestions and you’ve scored yourself a hot date for the evening. Like I said, no need to thank me.
But let’s focus guys, you still need to seal the deal tonight and I have some colognes that will be perfect for your night; whatever it may entail.
If you’re going to be wining and dining her, I would go with something subtle a gentleman, such as yourself, would wear — like Allure Homme by Chanel. Although still an oriental, it’s signature note, Jamaican pepper, gives this Chanel a youthful twist.
Dancing? How about something lighter so you don’t suffocate your partner? I’m feeling XS by Paco Rabanne. Its crisp yet multidimensional nature suits the activity at hand; whether it’s Salsa or Swing.
Last but most definitely not least, tonight may just be an intimate night for two. In that case, get your hands on some Musc Ravageur by Frederic Malle to subtly entice her while she enjoys your home-cooked meal (by the way, your famous mashed potatoes and diet coke does NOT constitute a meal).
And for the Pièce de résistance, throw a shot of M7 on your pubic hair. Just … trust me on that one.