April 1, 2008

I'd Like to Keep My Bagel Down, But…

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It’s a Monday afternoon at 1:20 p.m. Do you know where your Clear Channel Top 40 hits are? Uhh, I found out that Collegetown Bagels kidnapped them and is holding Miley Cyrus hostage until you buy a Brooklyn Bagel with cheese. If you were planning on coming to the 415 College Ave. establishment to have some indie tunes on the side of your raspberry scone like I was, more likely you’ll get a big helping of Nickleback. While I sat here trying to fake-read my history text, I took a moment or two to live blog the baglery’s satellite radio setlist — here’s the play-by-play:

1:22 p.m. Maroon 5 “Makes Me Wonder” — Barf
1:25 p.m. Miley Cyrus “See You Again” — Vomit
1:30 p.m. 3 Doors Down “Here Without You” — Hurl
1:38 p.m. OneRepublic feat. Timbaland “Apologize” — Puke (with a nice beat)
1:42 p.m. T-Pain “Low” — Upchuck

After 20 minutes, I would kill two midgets for some noise-cancelling headphones — those big mothers you wear on airplanes. Seriously, CTB, this music decision is pretty ironic considering you try to court the Mom and Pop-supporting contingent of Ithacans and Cornellians away from the macchiato conglamorate down the street. Guys, I’ll let you borrow my iPod, just give me a tasty scone and we’ll call it even.