April 7, 2008

Decaf? De-nied

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Whitewhine.com is an amazing site filled with truisms that white people complain about, and things I would imagine that non-white people make fun of white people for complaining about. One of the most relatable posts on White Whine is this one:
Complaint #169
“The weather really needs to warm up, so I can start drinking iced coffee again… comfortably!”
-Whine by Lily Gedney
So, so true. I can’t drink hot coffee as I trudge up a hill in a ski jacket! I’ll fill a bucket with sweat by the time I get to Goldwin Smith. My problem is that not only is it slightly uncomfortable to drink ice coffee, but my capillaries think they will explode when they are introduced to caffeine. Thus, I must order decaf iced beverages wherever I go, and all the coffee purveyors in Collegetown don’t brew decaf coffee and refrigerate it until summertime. They inevitably suggest I get a decaf iced americano, and effectively force me to pay for an espresso drink when all I want is coffee!

Libe Cafe and other campus coffee establishments do have decaf iced coffee, but the last time I tried their version of the drink, I remember throwing it away and scraping my tongue. I don’t recommend it.

This brings me to the disappointing reality that I am not and cannot be friends with Gimme Coffee . Beyond the fact that, like the others, they don’t have decaf ice coffee, they also don’t have ice. Furthermore, they don’t have decaf coffee. (ARE THEY KIDDING ???) They only have the ability to make me a hot decaf americano, and now I have to pay for an espresso drink AND sweat three buckets. To add insult to injury, their scones taste [img_assist|nid=29565|title=|desc=|link=node|align=right|width=|height=0] like they are made with no leavening. They taste like Passover, and for those of you who don’t know what that tastes like, have you ever eaten a scone made with batter in which shredded cardboard was mixed in? Kind of like that.

VERDICT: Thumbs down.