Bias Cut (04-24-2008)

Let me start this weeks dialogue by admitting to The Bias Cut readers that I have caught senioritis. Not only have I caught senioritis, but I have finally even begun to appreciate the college experience. And if you are asking yourself, “how did he get senioritis, he isn’t even a senior?” you’re exactly on target.
I am not a senior and I have no idea how I caught senioritis besides the fact that the weather is absolutely amazing. Champagne on the regent lounge deck almost almost compares to drinking tat a table outside of Madison Avenue restaurants; tanning on the slope isn’t that bad (well besides the lack of breeze recently); driving around with the windows down in the car is great and, yes, new to this native New Yorker. So I must say that the cheery attitude on campus has redirected my energy from work to “it’s college and it only happens once,” although I never thought it would.
Now that you know I am not in my anti “the college frat/keg party scene” state of mind, you might understand why my column isn’t as mean as previous ones, like the one that broke the news that leggings aren’t for everyone. Although, if I am going to address leggings, I am sad to say that white leggings are just as bad as black ones — especially if you aren’t as skinny as Mary Kate. So basically, white leggings aren’t made for a natural body. And yes, I saw white leggings making a debut around campus on someone who shouldn’t have tried to pull it off.
But, back to the focus, this is my last bit of advice on what should not be in your spring closet (or any closet) before next week’s “I’m saying goodbye; I’m moving home ASAP” column.
First, some couples around campus have been sporting matching outfits. One of my many observations this week was a couple who committed a fashion crime of the matching variety. The offending female had a monogrammed polo that matched her significant other’s shorts. This isn’t good. Coordinated color schemes, although slightly weird, can be OK. Matching shirts and shorts, on the other hand, are not.
For couples (who are not identical twins), matching is not the way to go. Matching within families is okay when the child is four and the dad or mom finds it cute to have matching bathing suits. Since her or she is little (and also doesn’t have the voice to refuse) it is not a crime. But in college, these matching articles of clothing should not ever be worn together!
To illustrate another point, and only for that reason, I would like to remember one night I had at Dunbar’s this week. I understand that Dunbar’s is a low-key bar and that collared shirts, polos and Sass & Bide dresses aren’t on the dress code, but that does not mean that Nike pullover sweatshirts are A-OK. Neither was yelling at the poor guy who tried to enter a bathroom that happened to be the girls (and no, that wasn’t me). Pullover sweatshirts are rarely acceptable for girls and especially from a sporty designer like Nike. If you insist on comfort, please wear light Moncler or Lacoste fleeces that keep you warm. Pullovers, although comfortable at home, are never attractive across the bar and, since it pains me so much, please refrain from future infractions.
Other articles that should not be finding their way into your spring wardrobe, but are still roaming around campus (or at least they were this week): riding boots, scrunched up cowboy boots and Uggs matched with shorts or skirts. One brown sweater decorated with reindeers was also spotted at the Collegetown bars this week. It isn’t cold, and dark browns/reindeers are best saved for … basically never. Well, unless you were invited to an “ugly sweater party.” And if that girl I saw was invited to such an event, she definitely took the cake.
Now that you know what not to have in your closet, get into the spring mood. Pop on those sunglasses and, if you are unsure which are stylish, those Alpha Delt boys set a great example with a wide variety of styles.
Watch and adapt, and be careful — the gossip queen, of the infamous TV show, Gossip Girl, looks like she is stirring up a little trouble.