January 8, 2009

Bring in the new week? ABC, the old one was better

Print More

TV , I got some bones to pick with you. Since it is break, I am lazy and you don’t deserve full paragraphs, I will deliver them in bullet point form.

The Golden Globes
I’m sorry, but what the hell were you thinking?! How could you overlook Battlestar Galactica and Pushing Daisies? And why did How I Met Your Mother not get a Best Comedy? What is wrong with you?!

Scrubs on ABC
My emotions can be documented in their rises and fall with this. First, hearing that NBC was pulling the plug: tears. Then, that ABC was picking up the show: joy. Then, that ABC was creating a four-year contract: fear. Then, seeing the two episodes on ABC today: Eww. I know that’s not an emotion, but disgust doesn’t cover my disappointment. They weren’t funny! Courtney Cox? Not funny. When has she ever been funny? She was never funny on Friends. She was annoying; playing her off of the funny actors was what was funny, so I don’t know why casting her is supposed to be even remotely amusing. J.D.’s beard makes him look more like a tool than ever, the new interns are boring as shit, Turk was barely in the first episode … and they even managed to make Rowdy unfunny. How can you do that?
Furthermore, the ABC promo guy committed the most heinous of crimes. He introduces the episode with AIM speak: “You’re going to have so many LOLs that you’ll need CPR.” What? What? No. Not okay. Hank Moody heard that all the way over in fictional Venice Beach and is puking in his mouth a little. As am I. In fact, the only good thing the two episodes did was prove that ABC does not know how to handle comedy.

Cancelling Pushing Daisies
See previous.

What Would You Do?
A mix of Candid Camera, Street Smarts and cheesy journalism, I thought it was going to be pretty awesome. The idea of catching actual human nature in response to ethical questions is intriguing … but the voice-overs make the whole thing really annoying. Get rid of the annoying voice-overs that scream stupid news huma- interest piece, and it’ll be awesome.

Gossip Girl
The only good thing on TV so far this week. And on the CW. Go figure. If they would only cancel 90210, Privileged and One Tree Hill

“The Puppendential Debates with Anderson Cooper”
It’s hard to say who to love more for this faked CNN segment. It’s hard to say who came up with it. But come on, Anderson Cooper. What I can say: It was beautiful, and that, when in the same 30 minute show, Cooper is definitely (hotter) more awesome than Jon Stewart.