March 31, 2009

Stunna Shades, Dark Hues and Old Flats

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Although you might think drinking is meant for the wee hours of the night at hot spots like the Regent Lounge or Taverna Wine Bar (if you are feeling recession-proof), springtime on a college campus can quickly reverse your preconceived notions of the timing of drinking. Being a responsible college senior, or a member of any alcohol-friendly community, you must realize that day drinking is a wonderful part of adult life that was probably hidden from you as a child on non-football Sundays.
One of the beauties of day drinking: the sun. Seriously, there is nothing like being buzzed and seeing the world in all its sun-soaked radiance. It’s like when you have a good buzz and need to tell your friends how much you love them, just on a much bigger scale. You want to tell the whole earth and everyone around you that you love them, because the world is just a beautiful place (magical vegetables need not be involved). Shades are crucial as they protect you from the sun’s harmful rays (even the most beautiful of the world’s creatures can sometimes give off nasty looks). They also make it harder for the wineries (we’ll get to those in a minute) to tell that you might have been to a couple of stops already that day. Keep the shades on the bigger side, but let’s not go overboard: It’s not 2006 anymore. The bigger sizes (though not the biggest) are totally still in style, and they do a great job of protecting your eyes from the UVA/UVB/premature aging and the sometimes-surgical mess that comes with cleaning that up.
Another lovely upside to getting started early: sleeeep. You are in bed and hence on your way to recovery a whole lot earlier. As most of you know, the best day drinking activity at Cornell is a wine tour. Since my intention is always to help you, I am making it my duty to guide you on the proper attire beyond your shades.
Now, I’m sure many of you socialites and avid magazine readers know how to dress and look fabulous, but I’m not sure that when dressing for a wine tour you are thinking to yourself, “What can be spilled on and still survive?” Our responsibility is to be kind to the environment and ruining white shirts and pretty silk blouses isn’t friendly (and may I add it’s expensive?!). Unless you’re on an all white wine / champagne tour I suggest that you do not wear white, unless it is a purely white (preferably cotton) item that can be bleached back to life (check tags for washing instructions first).
My biggest recommendation is to not wear any light colors unless you are just wine tasting. If frolicking on the lawns and vineyards is on your agenda, or if you have a party bus loaded with booze, then stick to dark colors. Maybe you can trust yourself, but let me make a guarantee: unless you’re with the chess team, I highly doubt you can trust anyone else. Side note: Even if the group is called the chess team and might actually play chess, they are probably sloppier than the average boozer due to their the lack of experience. So wear maroons if you’re a red wine drinker; for white, grays, dark blue (especially with jeans), and all in a variety of shades.
When going on a wine tour one must anticipate the sacrifices that will be made to the party gods: We all learned it in Clueless. So, rule #53: Wear prints with a variety of colors to make your sacrifice not a total bust. For instance, if someone does spill on you and most of it comes out in the wash, the minimal water stains left over won’t be obvious to the eye. Thus, your article of clothing will be altered and not ruined!
Remember, grass and lawns can be very dirty, especially if the weather has been moist or rainy. Chic boots, boat shoes and Converses are always good ideas. Flats are a must but never wear your finest; always go with your broken-in and second rate versions (shoes barely get caught in Facebook pics, anyway). Jackets and sweatshirts are key, and small change purses are also a good idea; just pack away those singles and minimize all risks.
So: Study your wines, Facebook tag responsibly, and, when the sun is shining — GET THE HELL OUTSIDE!