July 19, 2009

The Sun’s Sports glos•sa•ry

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Bartels Hall: The athletic facility formerly known as Alberding and the Field House. Unfortunately, the Alberding family no longer felt the need to fork over the big bucks — enter Mr. Bartels.
Barton: Barton Hall, cavernous main gym. Big place where ROTCs hang out, also headquarters for powerhouse indoor track teams. Originally built as an airplane hangar, it is the former home of hoops squads. Great pickup basketball games.
Baughan: Matt. Golf coach who also has the honor of being head teaching pro at Cornell’s beautiful Robert Trent Jones golf course.
Beckwith: Paul. Entering his 16th year as gymnastics coach. One wonders how a 6-4 man can coach this sport.
Belkin: Home of the Cornell squash teams located behind Reis Tennis Center. Expect big things from the top-notch international courts.
Bernson: Sarah. Will spend her first year as head coach of the volleyball team after helping the Red to three Ivy League titles and two NCAA tournament appearances in her five years as an assistant coach. Replacing the hugely popular and successful Deitre Collins-Parker, who left Ithaca for sunnier pastures, taking the head coach job at San Diego State.
Bettman: Gary ’74. First commissioner of the NHL. Known to show up at Lynah Rink to take in a game every now and then. All three of Bettman’s children have attended Cornell.
Big Red: 1. A type of chewing gum. 2. The nickname for all Cornell athletic teams. How can you cheer for a “Big Red”?
Big Red Bear: Cornell mascot. Although the bear is brown, not red, students still hold it dear and often pass it through the crowd at football games.
Blood: Dick. 15-year coach and engineer of the emergence of Cornell softball as a regional power. Last season, he led the team to its second Ivy League championship in five years and fourth in school hisory.
Boothe: Kevin ’06. Anchor of the offensive line during his Cornell career, opening lanes for Red backs. Drafted by the Oakland Raiders in the sixth round of the 2006 NFL Draft, won a Super Bowl with the Giants in 2008.
Brown: The color of dirt, but also an Ivy school that doesn’t believe in grades, or sports. Best team is football. Officially nicknamed Bears, but the students still call themselves Bruins — their old nickname. Still, as the saying goes, if it’s Brown, flush it down.
B.U.: Boston University. Hockey rival that pulled out of the ECAC in the ’80s with several other teams to form Hockey East. Inspiration for the all-purpose cheer “Screw B.U., [insert opposing team here] too!”
Clubs: Enjoyable (allegedly) organizations that can’t get funding to join varsity ranks. Rugby and ultimate frisbee are two of the most prominent and successful. Seem to exist mainly to hound Sun editors for more coverage.
Columbia: League doormat in virtually every sport. Does not even have men’s lacrosse or hockey teams. In the 1980s, the football team broke the all-time NCAA record for consecutive losses. Although it has improved of late, the school would throw a parade down Broadway if it actually won an Ivy title. Added bonus: Opponents can laugh at the light-blue uniforms.
Cornell: Glorious Ivy League university —perhaps you’ve heard of it. Nationally notable in wrestling, men’s hockey and men’s and women’s lacrosse, among others. Made it to the NCAA Tournament in men’s basketball for the second-straight year. Advanced to the NCAA championship game in men’s lacrosse before suffering a heartbreaking overtime loss to intra-state rival Syracuse. At least regionally competitive in most other sports. Be proud and cheer hard, you young fools.
Crew: Grueling year-round sport. Has perhaps the most underrated — and mentally unstable — athletes at Cornell. Who else could endure severe hand blisters or 5 a.m. runs down to the boathouse for two-hour practices in 30-degree weather. Pain is their life’s blood.
Cullen: Terry and his late father Bob, that is. Father-son team that coached the Cornell sprint football team “forever” and guided the Red to countless CSFL titles. In 2006, the Red achieved perfection for the first time since Purple Rain was popular, going 6-0 en route to a national championship.
Dartmouth: Conservative Ivy foe strong in women’s basketball, men’s soccer and ice sculpture. Small school, but with proper nourishment could become a full-grown university like the rest of its Ivy pals. Nicknamed the Big Green, a name stolen from the children’s movie of the same title.
Davy: Fight song, played after Cornell scores in any game the Big Red Band bothers to attend, except for basketball where it plays it whenever it can at its own obnoxious decibel level. George M. Cohan stole the melody from “Give My Regards to Broadway.”
Derraugh: Doug ’91. Just finished his fourth year dropping knowledge on the women’s hockey team. While wearing a Red sweater, he set the record for most goals scored by a senior with 30.
Devoy: Mark and Julee. Husband-and-wife team starting their fifth season coaching the men’s and women’s squash teams, respectively.
Donahue: Steve. Ninth-year coach of the men’s basketball team. His recruiting skills have shaped the Red with a talented young roster that swept its 2007-08 Ivy schedule on its way to the school’s first Ivy League title in 20 years. The team would repeat as Ivy champs in 2009, inducing mass chaos when the Red clinched the title with a win at home over Penn.
Dolgikh: Iryna. Fifth-year fencing coach, former world champion and veteran of the coaching staff at Penn St. Led the Red to an 19th-place finish at the NCAA championships last year.
Dryden: Ken ’69. Three-time All-American, perennial All-Star and Stanley Cup netminder for the Montreal Canadiens. Found his real calling practicing law, however, like nearly every other Cornell grad. Named the general manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs in 2004 and inducted into the College Sports Information Directors of America (CoSIDA) Academic All-America Hall of Fame in May 2005.
Duesing: Lou. The longtime women’s track coach who has led his squad to unprecedented success. The Red had swept both the indoor and outdoor Heptagonal championships six straight seasons, the only team to ever do that. The streak snapped in 2009, when the women finished second at outdoor Heps. Duesing was awarded the Notheast District Coach of the Year in 2008 by the USTFCCCA — the longest acronym in history.
ECAC Hockey League: Eastern College Athletic Conference Hockey League. Large coordinating organization overseeing collegiate sports up and down the eastern seaboard. More specifically, the major college hockey league that Cornell calls home. Gives schools like Union and St. Lawrence an excuse to feel smarter.
Eldredge: Dave ’81. Best polo coach in the country. Need proof? In 2008, the men’s team overcame its underdog status to reach the national finals, where it lost. Last year the squad fell to defending champion Texas A&M in the national semifinals. Also holds down the fort for the women’s squad, which went 22-0 before losing to Virginia in the national championship game.
Faithful (a.k.a. The Lynah Faithful): Half-crazed Cornell hockey fanatics who never miss regular or post-season home games. Climb and bang on Plexiglass and throw newspapers, garbage and fish at opposing players. Don’t like Section O, or the referee Dupree (the one with the bad eyes).
Friedman Wrestling Center: State-of-the-art facility featuring practice and match space, weight rooms, offices, study rooms and locker rooms. Site of two-time national champion Travis Lee’s ’05 135th collegiate victory — a new Cornell record — on February 18, 2005. Benefactor is Stephen Friedman ’59, President Bush’s former chief economic advisor.
Game (a.k.a. The Game): Cornell vs. Harvard, hockey style. Action on the ice nearly paralleled in the stands. People throw fish at Harvard players. People used to tie chickens to the net between periods, but the ECACHL stepped in recently (we’re still looking for someone brazen enough to restart the tradition). People swear a lot. In between all this, the Red and Crimson play some great hockey. We laughed, we cried. A must see.
Geatz: David. In 2009, his first season at the helm of the men’s tennis team, Geatz led the squad to a 14-5 record — six more wins than the previous year. Starting with the 2009-10 season, he’ll be in charge of the women’s team, too.
Gehman: Hilary. Entering third full year as head coach of women’s crew.
Graap: Jenny ’86. Twelth-year women’s lacrosse coach who helped the women’s laxers to a turnaround season in 1998. She took the team into the Final Four in 2002, garnering Coach of the Year awards. Led the team to its first ever co-Ivy League title and another NCAA berth in 2006.
Grumman: Old squash courts. In high demand since they can be used for racquetball as well. Squash can also be grown in the garden.
Guccia: Bart. Former assistant now entering his second year as co-head coach of the sprint football team.
Harvard: Smug Ivy League school loaded with money, squash courts and stuffy egg-heads. Top-ranked rowing, swimming and hockey teams. Nicknamed Crimson — the bastard child of the color red and poop.
Helen Newman: Original headquarters of Cornell women’s athletics, now North Campus’ home to pickup basketball games, an indoor swimming pool and a state-of-the-art (allegedly) fitness center. Also houses one of the premier bowling alleys on campus (because they sell brew-ha-has), or in Ithaca for that matter. Slated for significant renovations in the near future.
Hornibrook: Donna. In sixth year as field hockey head coach, Hornibrook will use her Canadian accent to coax the squad to the Ivy title. The team finished with an Ivy record of 6-1, falling only to an undefeated Princeton squad.
Hoy: Home of Cornell baseball. First man to hit one over the formerly big right field fence was Lou Gehrig, according to legendary historian and sports writer Kenny “The Haunter” Van Sickle. The second — again according to Kenny — was George Bush, Sr., in his Yale days, before he moved on to better things. In less important matters, the field underwent a $3.25 million renovation before the 2007 season and in 2008 was named the top road destination in the Ancient Eight in a poll of the league’s coaches.
I.C.: Ithaca College, the school on the other hill. Division III kingpin in just about every sport. Nicknamed the Bombers, possibly because of an affinity for cheap Ithaca bars.
Jessup: Principal intramural fields located on North Campus. Poor drainage, bright lights, lots of bad bounces.
Kennett: Todd ’91. Coach who established lightweight crew dynasty — leading the squad to three consecutive national championships before becoming the heavyweight crew’s fearless leader last season. Minister of pain. Enjoys putting his team on the erg machine before sun-up.
Koll: Rob. Long-time, legendary wrestling coach and former All-American, Koll has picked up where previous coach Jack Spates left off. His team has won the Ivies the last six years, and finished a program-best fourth at national championships four years ago, a feat for which Koll earned NWCA Division I Coach of the Year honors. Infamous American Idol fan, he led the squad to an impressive fifth-place finish last season at nationals in St. Louis.
Knowles: Jim ’87. Fifth-year head football coach who realized a lifelong dream when he left Ole Miss to take over the top spot at Schoellkopf. His homecoming proved to be a dream come true for Red football fanatics as well, as he led a team that owned the basement of the Ivy League in 2003 to a winning league record and a third-place finish in the standings in 2004. Led the team to a 6-4 record three years ago, before going a reverse 4-6 last year.
LaRoche: Danielle. Head coach of the women’s soccer team, her squad went 2-12-1 last year, upsetting No. 4-ranked Brown for its only Ancient Eight win. LaRoche’s first official recruiting class was recently ranked in the top-100 in the nation by SoccerBuzz.com.
Lucia: Joe. Brutally honest men’s swimming coach. Has the unenviable task of charting his guys to the head of the Ivy waves. After 22 years handling the men’s team, Lucia will direct the women’s squad as well in 2009-10.
Lynah: Lynah Rink, cradle of Cornell hockey fanaticism. Recently-renovated to add 464 seats to the 3,836 person capacity.
Marinaro: Ed ’72. The best player in Red football history. Appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated on November 1, 1971 and was featured in a fall 2007 issue, not to mention last summer’s “Where Are They Now?” issue. After a brief stint in the NFL, he followed in the footsteps of another former great — “Broadway” Joe Namath — and tried his hand at acting.
Mitchell: Chris. In his tenth enthusiastic year of coaching the equestrian team.
Moore: Charles H. ’51. Former Cornell track star and athletic director. Two-time Olympic medalist and former world record-holder in the 440-yard hurdles.
Moran: Richie. Hall of Fame lacrosse coach. Took Cornell to the NCAA playoffs countless times, winning three national championships along the way. Was once dubbed by Sport magazine as “The Electric Pear.”
Newman Arena: Home of the Red basketball and volleyball teams. Also the site of wrestling tournaments. Located in Bartels Hall.
Nieuwendyk: Joe ’88. NHL Rookie of the Year for Calgary 14 seasons ago with 51 goals. Took face offs for the Dallas Stars until he was traded to the New Jersey Devils to win a third Stanley Cup in 2003. Cornell MVP in 1987 and a NHL All-Star. He has also won the Conn Smyth and Olympic gold. Still owns a house on Cayuga Lake.
Noel: Andy. Current Athletic Director. Jury is still waiting to see if he has the eye for coaches that Moore did.
Olbermann: Keith ’79. Former energetic and colorful anchor of ESPN’s SportsCenter, making it the cultural phenomenon it is today — so popular that it can get away with the “Who’s Now?” tournament. Master of the guttural “he put the biscuit in the basket.” Enjoyed the limelight at Fox. Now back for a second tour of duty at MSNBC. Made headlines earlier this year when he engaged in a verbal spat with conservative political commentator Ann Coulter ’84 (who we like to forget even went here) over the value of his CALS degree.
Pennsylvania: Slimy Ivy rival in Philadelphia. It has strong athletic teams and questionable recruiting ethics. Learn to hate them. They’re ruthless, bad sports and play to win at whatever cost — even if it means throwing toast on the football field. And they call themselves Quakers.
Pidto: Bill ’87. Yet another Cornellian now at ESPN.
Princeton: Yawn. Nickname: Tigers. Location: New Jersey, but fields top-notch basketball and lax teams anyway. Has won more Ivy League titles than any other school with its shady recruiting.
Sarachan: Dave ’76. Former head coach of the Chicago Fire, an MLS team. Led Red booters to two NCAA bids in his final seasons at the helm. Two-time All-American at Cornell. No, he’s not named after the sugar substitute widely used before Nutrasweet.
Schaap: 1. Dick ’55. Highly acclaimed newsman who died in 2001. Veteran sports journalist, author of numerous books, sports correspondent for ABC News and host of ESPN’s Sports Reporters. Oh, and he was also once the editor-in-chief of The Sun. 2. Jeremy ’91, ESPN. Followed in dad’s footsteps and is currently correspondent for ESPN’s Outside the Lines. Also, former Sports Editor at The Sun.
Schafer: Mike ’86. Men’s hockey coach who steered his team to ECAC tournament victories in his first two seasons, then to the squad’s first Frozen Four appearance in 23 years in his eighth. In his 10th, 2005-06, steered the Red to a 22-9-4 record in which the team came a goal away in triple overtime against Wisconsin from making the Frozen Four. Fans greeted him then and now with the chant, “Kill, Schafer, Kill.” Now in his 13th season at the helm, he will seek to guide his squad to its first Frozen Four berth since 2002-03, after falling just short last season (looking at you, Bemidji State).
Schoellkopf: Stadium which houses football, field hockey, men’s and women’s lacrosse teams. Nice view of Ithaca and most of Central New York on clear days on the Crescent side. Artificial playing surface has been called “the Cadillac of turf systems.”
Smith: Dayna. Seventh-year coach of the women’s basketball team. Like many other Red coaches, made her way over from Penn. Will aim to help her team rebound in 2009-10 after a disappointing 10-16 season and fourth-place finish in the Ivy League.
Tambroni: Jeff. This year’s USILA Coach of the Year, he led the men’s lacrosse team to a share of its seventh-straight Ivy League title, not to mention a place in the national championship game. Here’s to doing it all over again in 2010.
Taylor: Nathan. Coach of the men’s cross country and track teams. Came here from Penn. Obviously, a big improvement for him.
Walkenbach: Bill ’98. Head coach of the baseball team that won the 2009 Ivy League Gehrig Division. Former standout player and assistant coach for the Red.
Yale: Mediocre Ivy misfits. Not really good at any sport, but what else can you expect from a school in New Haven? Also called the Bulldogs and the Elis. By the way, what’s an Eli?
Zawislan: Jaro. The first-year men’s soccer coach will look to turn the program around after it finished 1-15 in 2008 with a 0-7 Ivy League record. The Polish native and former goaltender spent seven years as an assistant coach at Syracuse, where he helped the Orange’s goalies post some of the best numbers in school history.