April 7, 2010

Sex, Drugs and Overheards

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Puking Princess: I’ve made out with guys after vomiting. Plenty of times.

— Ag Quad

Sex, Drugs and Roofies

Girl: Well, maybe you could apply to be the next Sun sex columnist, since I think Jeff graduates this year.

Stoner: Well, if I was gonna write it, it would have to be a roofie column.

— Eddy Street

Irish I Was Drinking

Inebriated Lass, on St. Patrick’s Day: It’s like Slope Day two months early!

— Ag Quad

Breakfast of Champions

Inquisitive Guy: So you’re allergic to corn syrup?

Sorority Girl: Yeah.

Inquisitive Guy: So what do you eat?

Sorority Girl: Vodka and Red Bull.

— Statler

The Right to Bare Ass

Disgruntled Dame: It seems like every time I take my pants off the cops show up.

— Libe Cafe

Spring Break Dilemma

Distracted Driver: No way, I had one hand on the steering wheel and one hand in my underwear.

— Wilmington, N.C.

Inundated and in Need of a Date

Engineering Dude 1: How can you wear those shoes in this weather?

Engineering Dude 2: They’re so torn up already; I don’t care if they get more destroyed.

ED 1: But aren’t your feet soaking?

ED 2: They’re just a little moist they’re my only appendages that have been getting moist lately …

— Engineering Quad during the snow storm

Original Author: Jessica Stitt