Puking Princess: I’ve made out with guys after vomiting. Plenty of times.
— Ag Quad
Sex, Drugs and Roofies
Girl: Well, maybe you could apply to be the next Sun sex columnist, since I think Jeff graduates this year.
Stoner: Well, if I was gonna write it, it would have to be a roofie column.
— Eddy Street
Irish I Was Drinking
Inebriated Lass, on St. Patrick’s Day: It’s like Slope Day two months early!
— Ag Quad
Breakfast of Champions
Inquisitive Guy: So you’re allergic to corn syrup?
Sorority Girl: Yeah.
Inquisitive Guy: So what do you eat?
Sorority Girl: Vodka and Red Bull.
The Right to Bare Ass
Disgruntled Dame: It seems like every time I take my pants off the cops show up.
— Libe Cafe
Spring Break Dilemma
Distracted Driver: No way, I had one hand on the steering wheel and one hand in my underwear.
— Wilmington, N.C.
Inundated and in Need of a Date
Engineering Dude 1: How can you wear those shoes in this weather?
Engineering Dude 2: They’re so torn up already; I don’t care if they get more destroyed.
ED 1: But aren’t your feet soaking?
ED 2: They’re just a little moist they’re my only appendages that have been getting moist lately …
— Engineering Quad during the snow storm
Original Author: Jessica Stitt