April 21, 2010

Earth Day Horoscopes

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Taurus (April 20 — May 20): You’re all about self-improvement this week. Time to hit the gym. (Sorry; not trying to be rude, just being honest).

Gemini (May 21 — June 20): There’s a money-making scheme in your future. But, if you’ve ever seen an episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, you know this opportunity won’t work out. (Again, sorry.)

Cancer (June 21 — July 22): Have you been feeling lost lately? Investing in a map or a personal tour guide could greatly benefit you, though the latter may cost you more then you bargained for.

Leo (July 23 — Aug. 22): You’ll be feeling gentle like a butterfly while  stinging like a bee. It doesn’t make any sense, since they are clearly two different insects … you should get that checked out.

Virgo (Aug. 23 — Sept.22): You want to overcome a major obstacle in your life, but you may be feeling overwhelmed. Time to flip the situation and get underwhelmed about it, since it’s always better to undercook food then overcook it (if you get my drift).

Libra (Sept. 23 — Oct. 22): LWith prelims coming up, you may feel a new sudden energy that has come into your life. Lay off the Red Bull!

Scorpio (Oct. 23 — Nov. 21): After all of your internship/job applications, you’ve probably gotten used to being your own P.R. manager. Stop telling people your GPA and your extracurricular activities. It’s not Orientation Week!

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 — Dec. 21):You are looking for a new challenge in your life. May I suggest … Where’s Waldo?

Capricorn (Dec. 22 — Jan. 19): You will be forced to make a tough choice soon. Make sure you are following your heart and not your wallet.

Aquarius (Jan. 20 — Feb. 18): You’ve been having really great ideas lately, but all you can hear is that terrible 80’s music your roommate listens to. Read the Arts and Entertainment section for recommendations.

Pisces (Feb. 19 — March 20): You’re the big cheese this week. Just remember that cheese starts to smell after a bit. Keep a level head.

Aries (March 21 — April 19): You work hard and play harder. You need to improve your beer pong game.

Original Author: Allie Miller