April 29, 2010

Suggestions For Next Year’s 161 List

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Over the past year, I’ve become pretty familiar with the Big Red Ambition list. For the most part, the entries represent a diverse array of quintessential Cornell experiences, but the 161 list could use a little tweaking. Some of the items are a little lackluster — who needs a list to tell them to do #108: Eat brunch on north campus? Others, like #90: Males, Get thrown out of Balch Hall, can’t be done by the entire Cornell community. An aside — every other item on this list, including #116: Get asked if you’re pregnant at Gannett (both males and females), can be checked off by both sexes. While working my way through the Big Red Ambition list, I’ve found, however, that there are more experiences that represent the spirit of the 161 that didn’t make the cut than there are items that should be removed from the list. So, I thought I’d offer, in no particular order, my personal recommendations for additions to the 161 things. (Sun editors take note.)

Ignore the weather report when getting dressed. Buy a sweatshirt at the Cornell Store to get you through the day. I purchased over half of my Cornell sweatshirts this way.

Run into a professor at Wegman’s and awkwardly make small talk. If your shopping cart, like mine, contains only hummus, string cheese, and vitamin water, be prepared for the quizzical looks.

Hook up with a pre-frosh. This should really replace #91: Hook up with a Freshman. That’s not an accomplishment.

Steal a Fraternity composite. A great prank to pull, but be wary of the consequences. A fraternity once retaliated for composite theft by putting my entire sorority house on Craigslist. People showed up at 9 a.m. with U-Hauls.

Have your name printed in the Cornell Daily Sun. Or better yet, find yourself in a fashion columnist’s “What Not to Wear” photo. It certainly made my friend A. think twice before wearing leggings as pants again.

Make a hook up web and realize just how small this campus really is. (Tiny.)

Win the CTB sandwich creation contest. The possibilities are endless: turkey, bacon, tofutti, tomatoes, strawberry jam, and avocado? Mmmm.

Participate in the “great migration” from Olin to Uris at 2 a.m.: Have your Cornell ID handy, as you can’t get in without it. Last week, I watched the sun rise from the cocktail lounge three times, which is why “write a senior thesis” is not making it on this list.

Go to campus hungover; throw up in an academic building or library. I had a 9 a.m. Friday section sophomore year — shout out to the Warren Hall bathrooms.

Rage at Club Sidewalk. I’m not sure why everyone insists on congregating on the corner of College and Dryden every weekend night in the freezing cold. But without Green Café, I guess there isn’t really anyplace else to go.

Become a Potato: Hook up with three people in a single campus organization. Sort of gross? Yes. Sort of inevitable? Yes.

Go to Brew Fest at Stewart Park. Beer. Sun. Food. Friends. Enough said.

Skip class to drink outside at CTB on the first nice day of the year. If you’re smart, befriend Paula at the counter. Her power on this campus is comparable to Skorton’s.

Go to a head shop on the Ithaca Commons. Purchase something to smoke “tobacco”  out of. A requisite Ithaca activity.

Drunkenly bond with the Cornell Police. If you’re fortunate enough to get a picture of this special moment, I can promise it will become the best photo on your wall.

Get kicked out of a basketball game for heckling the other team. Hockey and football already get shout outs on the 161 list; basketball should get some love too. F*** ’em up! F*** ’em up! Go C.U.!

Realize it doesn’t get much better than this place. Put the whole “graduation” thing on hold indefinitely. RLD

Original Author: Jenni Warne