May 5, 2010

Slope Day Edition Overheards

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South of the Border Order

Abercrombie-Clad Gentleman: I want hot imported man sex!

— Thurston Avenue

Pirating Love

Poetic Pal: When you say you’re committed to someone, and then you don’t act that way, it’s kind of mean.

Metaphorical Mate: I say I’m not gonna download music, and I do. It’s the same thing.

— Arts Quad

Of Ears and Eggs

Patient Pre-Vet: You said Fallopian tubes when you meant Eustachian.

—  Appel

History’s Heavyweights

Scholarly Sir: The only team more powerful than Newton and Gauss is Michelangelo and the guy who invented the reservoir tip condoms.

— Arts Quad

I’ve Heard It Both Ways

Two people doing crossword puzzle on campus:

Girl: What’s a word that means something that’s put on a pole?

Boy: A stripper?

Girl: I think they mean, like, a Stop sign …

— Cornell University

Mr. Frisky

Blonde Chick: No, no, no, that cat just liked anal.

— Buffalo Street

Hot and You’re Cold

Sneezing Girl: You can’t hit me with snow and allergies, Ithaca! It’s not fair!

— Thurston Avenue

Alcohol: Elixir of Life

Frat Star: She’s asexual til she’s hammered … and then she’s, like, open for business.

— North Campus

Original Author: Jessica Stitt