South of the Border Order
Abercrombie-Clad Gentleman: I want hot imported man sex!
— Thurston Avenue
Pirating Love
Poetic Pal: When you say you’re committed to someone, and then you don’t act that way, it’s kind of mean.
Metaphorical Mate: I say I’m not gonna download music, and I do. It’s the same thing.
— Arts Quad
Of Ears and Eggs
Patient Pre-Vet: You said Fallopian tubes when you meant Eustachian.
— Appel
History’s Heavyweights
Scholarly Sir: The only team more powerful than Newton and Gauss is Michelangelo and the guy who invented the reservoir tip condoms.
— Arts Quad
I’ve Heard It Both Ways
Two people doing crossword puzzle on campus:
Girl: What’s a word that means something that’s put on a pole?
Boy: A stripper?
Girl: I think they mean, like, a Stop sign …
— Cornell University
Mr. Frisky
Blonde Chick: No, no, no, that cat just liked anal.
— Buffalo Street
Hot and You’re Cold
Sneezing Girl: You can’t hit me with snow and allergies, Ithaca! It’s not fair!
— Thurston Avenue
Alcohol: Elixir of Life
Frat Star: She’s asexual til she’s hammered … and then she’s, like, open for business.
— North Campus
Original Author: Jessica Stitt