September 1, 2010

First (Full) Week Overheards

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Anything he can getTwo drunk males on Linden Ave. Wednesday night:Male 1: Dude, I don’t think she even wants to talk to you, she’s on the phone.Male 2: But she has a vaginaaaa!

Hey, at least he’s honest, right?Heard on Eddy St.Girl: Well, maybe you could apply to be the next Sun sex columnist, since I think Jeff graduates this year.Guy: Well, if I was gonna write it, it would have to be a roofies column.

Now that’s dedicationGuy 1: Dude, I woke up at 10:50 today for my 11:40 class.Guy 2: How did you manage to smoke, jerk off, and walk to campus in 50 minutes?

Unfortunate PairingBoy 1: What’s your net id?Girl: V D …Boy 2: HAHAHA vd! Girl: You’re the only one who finds that funnyBoy 2: I think it’s hysterical that your net i.d. is “VD.” HAHAHAHA, get it?!

Kindergarten Skills 101At the PalmsBouncer: [looks at ID] What’s your zip code?Drunk girl: Umm is that the thing that comes before the telephone number?

These boots were made for walkin’Guy at the gym: There’s no masculine way to do the stepper is there?Girl Fitness Monitor (Pitifully): No.

Get your mind out of the gutterIn Kroch Library:Girl: I’m having fun in the Kroch.Boy: You’re having fun in your crotch?

His Stats professor would be proudTwo males walking outside of StatlerGuy: Dude, he was so close. He was on track to hooking up with 7% of our class.

Original Author: Rachel Neville