October 7, 2010

The Berry Patch: Break You Off

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It’s finally here. That glorious two-day bone that big bad Cornell tosses us right before slamming our noses back against the grindstone until Thanksgiving.

Friends at other schools don’t often see the point of Fall Break. “What can you possibly do with two extra days?” they’ll ask, “Especially since you go to school in Ithaca, which is realistically a day’s travel away from anywhere worthwhile.”

What they don’t understand (aside from the fact that Fall Break was actually incepted in 1977 as a response to student protests about stress) is that to Cornellians, this break is four(ish) days free of prelims, cold weather and walking past that awful dead body stench coming from the Slum Formerly Known As Green Cafe. If you’re still somehow unsure what to do this break, here are the five definitive Cornellian Fall Break experiences. Serve chilled.

Going to “The City”

These prospective urbanites will spend their Fall Breaks on and around Manhattan. On the one hand, it’s a decent option for the short break. New York City, after all, is close by and has plenty to do and see. On the other hand, they’ll realistically be hanging out and bar-hopping with the exact same people as at Cornell, only paying three times as much for a mixed drink.

In Ithaca

Taking in the increasingly-miserable weather and attempting to catch up on sleep, work or some unattainable combination of the two. These students are often the ones unfortunate enough to be taking classes with that lovely cohort of professors that either does not grasp the concept of a break, or does not approve of it. These curmudgeonly profs line up prelims and papers for the week after Fall Break, effectively negating any restorative properties the short break may have had. Caring Community? Get real, we’ve got academic standards to uphold.

Heading Home

Similar goals to those staying in Ithaca, but with far superior weather. No matter where they are from. Clinging to the hope that some tender loving care from Mom and Pop can heal some of the psychological damage from those failed prelims, at home-ers spend the break curled up on the couch, feverishly petting the family dog and dreaming day-mares while whispering about “just one more coffee.”

Road Trippin’ to Montreal

While tropical locales like Acapulco and Cancun are every one’s Spring Break locations of choice, Montreal is the ideal destination for Fall Break shenanigans. From what we hear, the drinking age is 12 years old, weed is free, and there are enough prostitutes walking the city streets to sink a ship. A perfect storm for freshies and sophomores naively looking for a few days of R&R in the Great White North.

Bus Trippin’ Atlantic City

If you’ve been watching Jersey Shore and hankering to get your GTL on, a trip to Las Vegas Lite might be just what the doctor ordered. Slip into some Ed Hardy, crank up the house music and get ready to smoosh.