What’s a better way to start an episode then to have Dwight Schrute pick up Mexican workers to kill hornets? It got even better was when all the workers tried to avoid working for him by leaving. According to Dwight, at 5:45 a.m., Mose (Dwight’s faithful, but super creepy cousin) droped the workers in Harrisburg and told them it was Canada. Dwight ended up picking Nate, an American worker who has been to la Philadelphia, to finish. Dwight placed tools for Nate to pick, basically putting him in a live or die situation. If he picks the right tools to kill the hornets,Nate lives. Otherwise, he dies. What does Nate pick to kill the hornets? A bat. You decide whether he lives or dies and whether Dwight gives a shit.
Michael’s introduction to the episode is no less spectacular than Dwight’s. He comes in with a moustache. Why? Well for many reasons. The reasons being
What is the real reason behind Michael’s moustache? He has,what he believes, is a pimple; something Avril Lavigne has all the time (kudos to the writers for bringing up one of the many wrong things with her). What Michael really has is a cold sore. Many of his coworkers however think Michael might have herpes. Meredith jumps in saying she knows what herpes feels like since she had it on her genitals. At this point Kevin feel’s the need to ask, “ You have a penis?” Oh Kevin, genitals go beyond what males have.
Andy Bernard, a former RA at Cornell University, jumps into the situation and announces, “that the number one sexually transmitted disease is ignorance.” This is the same ignorance, which can lead to a number of actual sexually transmitted diseases. Good point Andy, clearly your Cornell education served you well. So all the hype of Michael’s cold sore leads to him believing that he has herpes. At this point he is guided by Dwight to contact every single one of his ex-lovers and tell them about his plight. For Michael, his ex-lovers might be crawling with herpes, definitely not a good position to be in. Dwight is the main promoter in making Michael confess his condition and find out maybe who gave him this horrible disease. For Dwight, it is very important that Michael notify every women of his herpes infestation.
Dwight even goes so far as to say, “ I’m no doctor, just a normal guy who enjoys revenge.”
Not everyone however can be as proactive. In fact most of the coworkers have developed “prejudices and stigma” against Meredith. Don’t take my word for it, this information comes from attention-seeking Andy Bernard.
Back to Michael. This episode is actually dedicated to him and his journey in finding out all his flaws. First off, he goes and tries telling Holly about his problem. However he and Holly go into their usual crazy conversations. Holly goes starts to talk about 3 nuns from South Africa who were killed to which Michael retorts “ Were they in the missionary position?” After this “normal” conversation, Michael ruins it by mentioning the possible future he could have had with Holly. You know the one with kids and marriage. At this point Michael is confronted about his romanticizing nature. This forces Michael to go to Jan and not only tell her about his herpes situation but also ask about his personality in general.
Jan’s much awaited return comes with a big bang. She is a successful office purchasing agent and she is raising a daughter, basically a super mom in her eyes or your average 45 year old American woman. Jan perceives Michael’s nosiness as his way of looking into the relationship and finding out what is wrong with it. Throughout this, Michael has a band aid on his face. Not very important but as a visual aid, I had to put it out there.
Back to Andy Bernard’s conquest to educate the office public about the stigmatism that Meredith has had to deal with because of her herpes situation. Andy brings in a picture of genitals. Obviously many shocked and offended reactions come up. Andy’s reaction?:
“Is it because he’s black?”
“ No, it’s genitals”.
You would think that Andy would understand that the pictures of the genitals are what are making people uncomfortable. Instead he brings out pictures of genitals with herpes. The reactions…priceless. Even better is when Andy tries to get everyone to list the positive and negative consequences of sex.
And the list is as follows:Negative: “Herpes is a consequence of sex”- Andy. Positive: “It feels unbelievable” –Kevin. “The ability to express love is a magical thing”-Phyllis. “The thrill of risks”-Creed. The best line of the entire show came as a result from a jab made by the ever-annoying Kelly about Jim and Pam’s unplanned pregnancy. Pam tries to protect Cici’s existence by saying, “ She was not a mistake, she was a surprise.”
These were not the only priceless reactions. As Jan is off declaring that she is the “princess and the queen” Michael feels the need to bring up his issue. So in the middle of her weird singing act for her daughter, Jan is bombarded with the news that Michael might have herpes.
Michael then goes on to contact Pam’s mother. Only he thinks that Pam’s mother has aged significantly. He thinks that Pam’s mother is an old lady who he later calls his grandmother. His encounter with Pam’s mom makes him realizes that he is self-deluded. Michael’s layers are slowly coming off.
Listen up Cornell students; the only surefire way to not get herpes is to be abstinent. Take it from Andy, who then looks around to make sure that Erin is abstinent. He then proceeds to put a put a condom on a pencil. At this point Andy’s priceless line comes.
“I’m not putting it on my penis, it’s not hard right now.” This line is followed by another mental breakdown for Andy.
Michael is having several breakdowns of his own. He and Carol (Steve Carell’s actual wife in real life) have a small fight after his revelation of herpes. Carol then reminds Michael that he has an incessant need to make bigger deals out of things than he has to. THANK YOU CAROL!!! You along with Holly and Pam’s mom have officially made Michael Scott feel worthless.
Mr. Scott thought he loved all the women he was with, but he realizes that he still only has feelings for Holly. Everyone else was really just a freak show. For Michael, Holly was the only one who was happy to hear from him. He honestly believes that she is the only one and then confesses that she might have herpes. Woops. Way to go Michael.
Best part of the entire show comes at the end when Michael is seen holding Oscar against his will and he says “ We once sucked face”. Michael believes that it is Oscar who gave him herpes and even calls Oscar his ex-lover. Poor Oscar, now he has to list all the men he has ever been with, including the ones he might have met at the Democratic primaries.
Most Uplifting quotes courtesy Daryl as he is talking to Andy: Daryl: Are you crying?Andy: No I’m sweating.Daryl: “ Stop crying and be your best self. “
Amen Daryl, I’m following your advice.
Original Author: Aishini Thiyagarajan