Can I get yo’ numba?
Girl #1: Men’s pants should be indicative of dick size. Small, medium, large, extra large.
Girl #2: That would be so helpful.
Girl #1: I’d do a few laps around the men’s clothing section, scanning for guys in the extra large section.How you doin’?
-Apartment in Collegetown
Girl #1: You know how I feel about my panties.
Girl #2: They’re better off in your purse?
Girl #1: Exactly
Your Time Will Come, Grasshopper
Girl: Someday I’ll have sexual jokes of my own. It’ll be great
Guy: I was thinking about making this porno, right, where it’s all superheroes, and it’s called ‘X-men’ except with a C, not an X…Get it? C-Men? It sounds like semen!Girl: ‘Cornell Grad Recognized for Contributions to Adult Film Industry.’ That’s a headline you don’t see every day.-Temple of Zeus
The Next Rambo
Guy #1: There are enough exits in this house for everybody to get out quickly.Guy #2: Well, if all else fails, I can ninja roll through a window.Guy #1: And I could barrel through a wall… I’m the juggernaut, bitch!
Get Me Some Soup Du Jour
Girl: Did you see that? They are having Soupa de Lima and Gingered Yam on Friday. We have to come back.
Guy: Are they Spanish? If it’s Spanish it needs to be in my mouth…-Temple of Zeus
Rackin’ Up The Extra Points
Girl: (pointing into window) That’s my TA! He’s grading our papers! He’s the kind of TA who would give me an A if I flashed him.Her boyfriend: Well, he’s right there, GO DO IT! It’s an A!
-Outside Libe Cafe
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Original Author: Rachel Neville