November 8, 2010

Gossip Girl Recap: Juliet Doesn’t Live Here Anymore

Print More

Blair and Chuck start the episode in bed together. Thank you producers for finally giving me my Chair! They’re having sex anywhere and everywhere – beds, limos, parks… Juliet goes to Colin’s to get the photographic evidence of him and Serena being together. Colin walks in right after she retrieves the camera card, and they talk about Ben. Colin says Ben deserved to go to jail because he was guilty. Guilty of what? Being a creep? Colin then warns Juliet that if she keeps getting involved with Ben, he’ll cut her off money-wise. Chuck and Blair sneak off to some slightly secluded outside place to have some pre-class sex. Enemies with benefits, yo. Serena and Colin have to ride in a cab together. Colin invites her to go away for the weekend as a way to get to know each other better, seeing as waiting is so hard. Serena is excited to accept. Dan then sees S leaving the cab and figures out S is seeing her professor. Serena then sees B & C exiting their secret rendezvous place and adjusting their clothing… Doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out… Serena then confronts Blair about Chuck, but Blair counters with her own confrontation about Colin. Neither of them has self control when it comes to boys. Nate goes to JuJu’s ‘apartment’ to finally return her things and get some closure. Except… The doorman tells him that no one named Sharp or Juliet or Juliet Sharp ever lived there. That’s fishy. He then goes to see V, the only person who maintained that Juliet was a dirty little liar. He finally believes Vanessa that she wasn’t the one who tried to screw over Serena. Dan then talks to Serena about Colin. He tells her that when he was with her, he would have done anything for her. He would have given up teaching to be with her and that she deserves someone who feels just as strongly. Serena then goes to see Colin and tells him that neither of them really wants to make the sacrifice to be together, so they shouldn’t be together. Blair and Chuck want to stop having sex. Except Chuck wants to do it as many times as possible before they officially stop, and Blair wants to refrain from seeing Chuck so she’s not tempted. Nate and Juliet meet to discuss things over coffee. He wants her to tell him the truth about everything. All this while, V’s searching Ju’s ACTUAL apartment for information about her. So, Juliet comes clean about being poor. Apparently she was ashamed and that’s why she lied and ultimately broke up with Nate. Nate then tells her he’ll give her a second chance and invites her to the ballet opening. Juliet accepts. Meanwhile, V breaks into Juliet’s place. How does she get a key? Nate tells her to call it off when Juliet finally tells him the truth. Tricky little V won’t, and instead finds Ju’s hidden pictures of S and Colin. Jackpot! Juliet then comes back to find V in her apartment with the photo evidence. Juliet deletes it from the computer, but V steals the hard copy as a way to take down S. Serena invites Dan to be her date to the ballet opening, but once there, Colin finds her and tells her he’s resigning from Columbia so that they can be together. Colin and Serena then kiss. Dan sees it and is all upset because he thought he could finally get with Serena now. Um, she’s your stepsister dude. Vanessa tells Nate at the opening about her plans for taking down Serena. He’s not okay with them, seeing as he’s still in puppy love mode. So, V goes to Ju and tells her she’s been watching Serena get away with anything and everything for so long and she’s sick of it. When Juliet tries to stop Vanessa, she points out that Nate was conspiring with V about the breaking in at Ju’s. V makes Ju think everyone’s out to get her, so Juliet brings the photographic evidence to the Dean to get S in trouble by saying she has pictures of Serena and Colin. But, Blair swoops in to put Juliet in her place. She says it was her in the pictures and that she was the one having the affair with a professor. She then drops the camera card into her glass, drowning the evidence. The Dean dismisses Juliet’s claims, seeing as there is not proof. Juliet runs off angrily, followed by Colin. Colin angrily tells her that he’s cutting her off from his life and his money. He then leaves her to be scooped up by our favorite ravenous lions – S, B, C, and N – to rip her to shreds. They tell her to leave Columbia or else they’ll really make her pay. Colin and S have one last final ride together, and then they depart with some last words about complex family history. So… Colin and Serena are done? Serena then calls Dan and has a call-waiting from Nate. She asks Dan to come meet her outside her building. But, as she’s waiting, Nate comes to find her. He tells her that Juliet made him turn on her and that he wonders what would of happened if she hadn’t… Ah… intrigue… As they’re having this intense talk, Dan pulls up in his cab to see the girl of his incestual dreams talking with his BFFL. Conflict! Serena will have to choose between N and D… My vote’s on N. He’s hotter, and he’s not in your immediate family. Always a plus. Blair and Chuck then go to celebrate their victory at B’s. They finally accept they can be friends and only friends. And just as they go to say good night, the two kiss. Chuck then carries Blair upstairs. Thank god. If that story line had ended I would have had to throw my notebook at the tv… And seeing as it’s my floormate’s tv, that wouldn’t have been too well-received. And sniveling little Juliet contacts someone who’s had problems with these people as a way to enlist her help in this huge Upper East Side Take Down 2010. Apparently Vanessa told her to contact this person… Oh look! It’s Jenny! The bitch that won’t go away! So… ding ding ding LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE! It this corner, stacking up at five foot annoying, the Raccoon Eyed Twit, Jenny Humphrey! With her trusty sidekicks, Psycho JuJuBear and Needs-To-Get-Written-Off Brooklynite, Vanessa! Otherwise known as, the Three Crap Stooges! And in the other corner, armed with her trusty Blackberry and Dior lip gloss, Miss Blair Waldorf! And her trusty sidekick, Little Miss Perfect Herself, Serena van der Woodsen! And for back up, Chuck Bass, who doesn’t need any description because let’s be real here: He’s Chuck Bass. My money’s on B.

Original Author: Alyssa Leventhal