December 3, 2010

Survivor Recap: Smuff My Torch… Twice

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The morning after tribal council, Purple Kelly comes back from Tribal Council feeling all betrayed because she was unaware that Brenda was being voted out. No surprise that she was out of the loop… seeing as she’s actually one of the stupidest players ever on Survivor. Purple Kelly, Sash and Fabio realize that they are on the outs, but at this point, not much can be done. There is a horrible downpour on the campgrounds, which basically convinces Purple Kelly and NaOnka to quit. Chase tries to convince them both to stay [especially because they are his two main allies] and pulls a Dr. Phil on our asses when he talks about self-esteem and stuff like that. It didn’t seem to work, but I guess we’ll see. Oh and right before the Reward Challenge, NAONKA GIVES HER IMMUNITY IDOL TO CHASE!! I actually couldn’t believe this until it happened, I don’t know why she would give him the idol, when she has dissed him continually throughout.

This week’s Reward Challenge was sponsored by a movie, so you know that it’s going to be crappy. The scene opens with dummies of Gulliver strapped to a huge table from the new sure-not-to-be-a-hit-movie called Gulliver’s Travels starring Jack Black.The tribemates will be divided into two teams and tethered together and as a team, they will have to untie Glullliver and carry him through an obstacle course. Oh and Gulliver is like 10 feet tall and a million pounds. The first team to reach the end will be taken to the Survivor Cinema for a showing of Gulliver’s Travels with popcorn, candy, hot dogs, and nachos. The Yellow Team is Fabio, Sash, Jane and Purple Kelly and the Blue Team is NaOnka, Holly, Chase and Benry. Dan was not chosen, so he gets to sit in a giant chair and cheer on the Blue Team because if they win, he wins too!

THE CHALLENGE BEGINS. Teams get to work on untying Gulliver and Purple Kelly immediately begins whining and is an overall nuisance to her tribe because she reties knots that her tribe already untied. But, somehow the Yellow Team manages to release their Gulliver first and they approach the giant wall that they have to carry Gulliver over. As the teams become neck and neck, Purple Kelly gets kicked in the head by Gulliver’s foot and it is mostly downhill from there for the Yellow Team. The Blue Team manages to sneak ahead as they make their way through a rope maze. The final obstacle is a long tunnel of ropes that Gulliver has to come out the other end of. The Yellow Team got horribly stuck with Jane and Kelly doing nothing, so … THE BLUE TEAM WINS!

As the Blue Team is ready to trek off to Survivor Cinemas to enjoy their rewards, NaOnka declares that she wants to quit the game. Right after she says that, Purple Kelly chimes in and agrees with her girl NaOnka. Jeff Probst is absolutely floored by this blatant disrespect for the game and he actually scared me as he literally reprimands the two girls and gives them the rest of the day to decide if they want to leave. Still at the Reward Challenge site, Probst gives someone on the Blue Team a chance to opt out of the Reward in exchange for a large bucket of rice and a new tarp for the entire tribe. While Benry tries to convince NaOnka to do it because she will be leaving soon anyways, Holly stands up and takes one of the team. WHAT A HEROINE MOVE!

Back at Libertad, the tribe gives Holly so much loving for being such a good person, which she deserves. Holly then takes Purple Kelly aside and tells her that quitters never prosper and sounds like a motivational speaker as she talks about how she was the sole force behind her children making it to track state championships [or something like that]. Although Purple Kelly talks about how inspirational she is, I don’t think she cares much.

ON TO THE IMPROMPTU TRIBAL COUNCIL! Probst announces how NaOnka and Purple Kelly both want to quit the game and the jury is absolutely stunned and pissed off. After all of this ordeal… the predictable happens.


Original Author: Michael Verini