April 13, 2011

FSAD (Not the Major)

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How am I supposed to write a sex column when I’m not having much (read: any) sex?  FSAD can really throw a wrench into a fun Friday night. I don’t mean Fiber Science and Apparel Design — although I bet endless weekend studio hours preparing for the awesome Cornell Fashion Collective Show conflict with stress-relieving sexy sewing breaks. Word on the street is that Barton Hall is the place to be on Saturday night. But even trickier than trying to have consistent sex with a studio-trapped Cornell fashionista is the ultimate lady boner killer: Female Sexual Arousal Disorder.

Twice as many women as men — over 50 percent of women surveyed —reported that they have at least one sexual issue that bothers them. Female Sexual Arousal Disorder doesn’t mean that the chicks don’t like sex; it just means that they encounter some issues when it comes to doing the deed or — more accurately — getting turned on enough to reap all the benefits. Personally, one of my main gripes is that I’m not screwing Alexander Skarsgård seven ways to Sunday, but the most common problem associated with Female Sexual Arousal Disorder is that women simply can’t get the love juices flowing.

It’s obvious when a guy isn’t turned on, but when a woman isn’t particularly feeling it, the signs can be a little more difficult to pick up on. Men have Viagra to treat their non-responsive members, while women are left just masking their issues with a hefty application of KY. If you frequently find yourself falling far short of unleashing a vagi-Nile river between your thighs, you might want to think about a few dam-ing factors.

Blessing and a Curse

I can’t even begin to effectively sing the praises of birth control, but there are a few side effects that might kink your kinky plans.  Pro: You’re not preggo, but con: Your Betty is as dry as a bone. Can’t have a child but good news is that you don’t even want to. In my non-scientifically inclined mind, that’s partially how I believe birth control works. Yes, I know that the reason I don’t get pregnant is because I’m not actually ovulating, but I like to think that it’s also because birth control is intentionally successfully zapping my baby-making drive. In a study of over 1,000 women, women who were on hormonal birth control had the highest reported rate of Female Sexual Arousal Disorder.

Brain Block

Women are generally first and foremost driven by what their brain tells them to do, not necessarily by physical impulses. I’ve come to the conclusion that the reason I still haven’t recreated my one and only non-solo orgasm experience is because of a mental block. It’s certainly not for lack of trying, but something in my brain just keeps me one step from the finish line. Psychological hang-ups can make experiencing full sexual enjoyment entirely impossible. Unfortunately, treating a less-than-raging libido in a woman is incredibly difficult — each case is different. Women suffering from anxiety, depression, trauma and stress are affected by Female Sexual Arousal Disorder in varying ways. And, as luck would have it, helpful medications like birth control, anti-depressants and anti-anxiety pills can also put a damper on sex drives. Girl can’t win.

Baby, We Were Born This Way

Biological factors obviously play a part in our modes of seduction. Ladies, how many times have you found yourself wanting to strip your shirt off mid-bar for the sweaty winner of that sexy fisticuffs?  Right?  … Right?

I’ve come to terms with the fact that it takes a meathead to successfully grease the wheels of my sex drive — I blame my inner cavewoman. The problem is that male and female brains come with the capacity to get turned on by either dominance or submission; the circuits come pre-programmed to ensure that we have a definite preference. For example, let’s say — just hypothetically — you fantasize about the hot guy at the bar ripping your little black dress off, pushing you up against the wall of your basement bedroom and pinning your hands to the cement. If you take him home and all he wants is some girl-on-top and a little hair pulling (his own, mind you), then chances are your submissive hardwiring is going to stand between you and a slick ride to o-town.

The female sex drive can be tricky to maneuver, which is why foreplay should never be neglected — some girls just need a little extra work to make an oasis in an otherwise arid desert.  Until those scientists get down to business and create a female Viagra, it looks like women will just have to suffer through self-medicating with foreplay to treat FSAD. Can I get a prescription for that?

The Preacher’s Daughter is a senior in the College of Arts and Sciences. She may be reached at preachersdaughter@cornellsun.com. Decent Exposure appears alternate Thursdays this semester.

Original Author: The Preachers Daughter