We’ve been through it all — we’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve broken ribs. We’ve cut our hair, we’ve gone to Taco Bell, and we’ve #livetweeted like there’s no tomorrow. Now we’ve almost reached the end of another Big Red year and survived the treacherous hold of the quarterlife crisis. However, as I prepare to graduate from this absolutely sexy campus and leave my existential predicament behind, I find that I am in a quarterlife crisis about having to say goodbye to the Quarterlife Crisis. #meta. While my weekly ramblings have allowed me to cope with my senior year psychosis (hopefully providing you with entertainment along the way), I’m in no less of an existential funk today than I was at the start of the semester. Goodbyes are not my forté, and I don’t think that anything can really prepare me to say farewell to the Cornell lifestyle without causing a whirlwind of emotions. Remind me that graduation is in less than a month and I may burst into hysterics, gaze hopefully into the future and/or grind all up on you. Approach at your own risk. In an attempt to tame the quarterlife beast once and for all, I’ve turned to the Qi-centering art form of the haiku. Beautifully balanced, perfectly Zen and delicately minimalist, haikus are the literary equivalent of meditation, bringing serenity to all those who read them. In turn, I present a collection of haikus relating to life, love and Cornell. Translating my trouble into tranquility, I say farewell to my beautiful readers with these syllable-stacking mini-masterpieces. Stay safe. Stay sexy. Quarterlife crisis out. existentialismgraduating nowbig red, senior, all overquarterlife crisis a semester in reviewithaca haircutBASE, bruised ribs, duff ball, twitterthank you for reading Country Grammarnelly on the slopewe may not remember itlet me see your grill Researching Hip-Hopjonah walter bentim becca dylan bonnasteve pond forever Living Hip-Hopup in the ghettoawoken by a drive bycrack sold on corner MURDAtia monet queenintramural volleyballlemme sign ya boobs Truththis is why I’m hotthis is why I’m hot a huhthis is why I’m hot Last Nightlevel b fishbowlrulloff’s, dino’s, dunbar’s tourpalms o’clock dance floor Lunchgarlic toasted cheesebetter than the terrace linecascadeli bliss Late Night Snackmaking mac and cheesetoo much milk added to sauceeating mac and milk Friend Zoneformal, wine tour, crushsororities invite mewhy am I single? #TFMgreek life is overno more frat castle anticsforever a bro CommencementGiuliani speaksshould have been Nicki Minajboring commencement let the music playlupe, M.I.A.kid cudi, phoenix, mash brosCCC redeemed DNKeditor with bangsforget the oxford commanewspaper all star HungerCollegetown bagelsbreakfast, lunch, dinner, late nightCTB is life New Friendscornell daily sunbridge the gap with the otherslope media group Wishful Thinkingbeyonce is backlady gaga is back tooke$ha will be gone Grace Epsteinone sixty one thingsmake it one sixty two thingsget a vajazzle the endkeep it sexy freshalways pregame the pregamethanks for everything Milos Balac is a senior in the College of Arts and Sciences. He may be reached at mb695@cornell.edu. The Quarterlife Crisis appears alternate Thursdays this semester. Original Author: Milos Balac
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