September 29, 2011

KVETCH: Opening of Prelim Season Edition

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Hey, it’s Friday. We — The Sun’s editors and columnists — are mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. That means we get to . . .  KVETCH!

Sleep ImpairedDearest classes that don’t take attendance: when you don’t take attendance, I don’t attend you. This is all well and great after long nights at The Sun when I want to catch up on sleep, but it is TERRIBLE come Prelim Season. Start taking attendance, please. I’ll thank you later.— J.A.R.

Meta-KvetchPeople who complain about complainers can be the hypocritissimos of hypocrites, but hopefully you’ll agree with me on this one: Cornell’s not overfrothing with Big Red spirit on the reg, so peeps annoyed with our chimes masters’ daily tintinabulatory recital of our Alma Mater gotta stop frontin. Brainwashery? Perhaps. Deuschebaggery? Certainly not. Statistics I will not quote show that a spoonful of music helps the brain not explode, so to those aspiring to blow up the chimes, kindly reconsider.— J.R.K

Brita BitternessA party invitation does not include an invitation to throw up in my sink or dismantle my Brita.  Britas are sacred, jerk.— H.G.

What a HeadacheThat interminable asbestos removal in Risley makes noises akin to dental surgery throughout the building.— A.B.

Library FoodieTo those who believe it is appropriate to slurp your smelly noodles in the library — this enclosed area in which we are all currently trapped — let me clarify: it’s really not. I am not calling out those who choose to much on a harmless Luna Bar, or simple Manndible muffin, because I get it, we have to eat at some point. I am singling out you all who eat any of the following at the library table: pesto, eggs, pork sausage, pad thai, or anything else pungent. Please enjoy your egg-n-cheese elsewhere because I can’t focus on my paper and inhale through my nose at the same time right now.— H.D.

#HashedOutWhat the hell is up with all these hash tags on Facebook? I don’t care that you can Twitter and post on Facebook simultaneously!  In fact I really don’t care what you are posting at all, which is why I don’t have a Twitter.  #obnoxioushashtags, #stoppostingstupidshit, #twittersucks— W.S.