August 29, 2012

The Power of Communication

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Welcome back to all you nymphos and otherwise naughty individuals. If we have yet to acquaint ourselves, I am Mona G. — here to provide you with sexy and creative tips, embarrassing anecdotes and a lesson or two. So let’s begin!

Sex can be many things. It can be an exploration or a challenge. It can create connection or cause introversion. Yet, to me, regardless of these differences, sex has one heavenly end that justifies all the raunchy means: Orgasm. Dripping, quivering, clenching, screaming, scratching: Immense, full-body pleasure. This is what revs my sex engine and what gets me (or more accurately, the man I’m with) up in the morning. Unfortunately, the finale I desire/require is not shared by all sexually active college-aged women. Some girls just cannot cum from sexual intercourse, or any interaction with a male, end of story. But I refuse to accept this end and have decided to intervene — not right there with you in bed (unless you have a great rack, in which case I’m there) — but through my words of encouragement. Read-on orgasmically-challenged and otherwise interested parties.

Diamonds were so 1950s. Vibrators are a 21st century girl’s best friend. Often, women will experience a cumplete orgasm using a vibrator, yet not from sex. I ask myself, why? If there is the ability to cum, then why are women so cumplacent? After some personal interviews and other intimate experiences, I have found the secret to cumming during sex:

Cummunication (yes, yes and it helps if your partner’s the right size, too)!

Men, boys, guys, dudes, whatever you label the male sex as, are not mind readers. All womens’ bodies are unique, meaning that my clit might be an inch higher than yours. My g-spot might be playing hide and seek inside the folds and alcoves of my vagina. My sweet spot is all the way up there and a tad to the left (I expect those who know me to take notes on those valuable tidbits). Bodies are most beautiful because they act and react in ways as unique as the individuals who reside in them. So, ladies, when you know that you need two fingers to be swirling around your clit, counter-clockwise to be exact, for you to cummence your cumming, then you must instruct your man. Vocalize, “Baby, you know what I want you to do to me? (Verb) your (body part) (preposition) my (body part). (Adverb)!” Fill in blanks as needed. Do not be frightened or timid. If your man is a good man then they should want to please you and will not be irked or emasculated by your direction.

There are men who will be perturbed by your insinuation that they are not hitting you in the right spots. These are usually those egotistical boys who get with tons of girls and think they know each pleasure zone as well as a tantric yogi. Well, these boys (boys now, not men), more than any, deserve to be humbled when they are not workin’ it like you like.

Let me tell you a story. My summer fling was hot. Like, sorry Michelangelo, but I think you should scrap David and sculpt this guy’s already heavily sculpted body. As a college rugby player, Cole was experienced in tackling members of both sexes. And even this boy, who had been around the block a few times, did not know what in the heck he was doing with his fingers down there. I mean there are parts of the vagina that do not feel good to be rubbed, although some boys are completely oblivious to that fact. You would think their sex-ed class would have gone into more detail in this area, but picture this as your time to step in as a sexy substitute teacher! Back to the story. Since I have sex for pleasure, I thought it was my duty to show him around a bit and put an end to my vaginal agony. I placed my hand on top of his and guided his fingers, like playing with a Ouija Board, minus communication with late Uncle Phil. With my hand moving his, Cole got a bit heated (not in the good way) and blurted out, “I know what I’m doing!” Well, Cole obviously didn’t, so I replied with, “Well, that hurts!” That put him in his place all right. He accepted my Ouija Board-like guidance from then on and I was much more ready for the intercourse that came after.

Cole may be a rare case, or he may be similar to the majority of sexually-active college males. But ladies, we must only blame ourselves for the men who know so little. We must be instructors on female sexuality. We must feel comfortable enough with our men, our bodies and our thoughts to become dominant at times and explain, in detail, what we need and how fast or slow we need it. And for encouragement, tell him how utterly amazing he makes you feel when he does it right. I want all of you to have sex that ends in ORGASM! And if you really become a good cummunicator, you and your partner might even cumplete the sublime, cumpassionate cumpanion cum.

Mona G. is a senior in the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences. Sex Talk With Mona appears alternate Thursdays this semester. Feedback and submissions may be sent to monag@cornellsun.com.

Original Author: Mona G.