Ever wonder which one of your favorite Cornell field hockey players would be the best at fighting off zombies or defending you in court? We did.
Hannah Balleza, Junior Forward
Zombie Fighter:
“[Junior midfielder] Elly Plappert … she always carries pepper spray with her or [senior back] Paige Mollineax … she has her black belt.”
Lawyer:
“[Junior midfield/back] Mallory Bannon ’cause she’s a diva and gets what she wants, so therefore we would never lose.”
Carolyn Horner, Junior Goalkeeper
Zombie Fighter:
“[Junior forward] Brittany Thompson. She is from the Bronx.”
Lawyer:
“I would actually have to say our new [assistant] coach, Gavin [Featherstone]. I have many reasons why, but the first that comes to mind is that he is Oxford educated.”
Paige Mollineaux, Senior Back
Zombie Fighter:
“If I could pick one teammate to help me in a zombie apocalypse it would be a tie between two teammates — [sophomore forward] Katherine Stone and [sophomore back] Ann DiPastina. I would choose Katherine because she would be a great distraction and I could get away easily while she’s putting on a show for the zombies. But, if I wanted to battle the zombies I would choose Ann because she is an intense person who would help me kick butt.”
Lawyer:
“If I had to pick one teammate to represent me in court it would be [senior forward] Kat DiPastina. I would choose Kat because she is always calm cool and collected when faced with situations … except when a referee gets on her bad side. When that happens she gets fired up, which I think would work out in her favor in a court room.”
Kat DiPastina, Senior Forward
Zombie Fighter:
“I would definitely choose my sister [Ann] — she works out all the time, so she could definitely beat them to death, and I’m pretty sure she read the Zombie Survival Guide, so double bonus that she knows how to kill them anyway. Also, I figure that if we’re talking survival, Ann has a pretty similar DNA set to mine, so some of my genes would be passed on if I somehow didn’t make it. Back to natural instincts, you know — if you don’t have babies of your own, protect the next closest thing to you. Even if she still takes your clothes without asking.”
Lawyer:
“[Junior back] Keelin [Bannon] for sure. She’s fierce — if you just watch her and [her sister] Mal get angry, Keelin definitely has the upper hand. She’s also really clever, so even when you think you’ve got some flak on her, she turns it right around. She’s really sneaky like that, and has that snarky sarcastic humor that keeps you on your toes. She’d definitely be able to keep a jury entertained and still show them she’s right.”
Original Author: Skyler Dale