To be completely honest, since I started writing the Big Red Ambition blog, I have avoided discussing certain topics. However, because I can’t yet write about the Hangovers Fall Tonic 2012 yet (as it is happening Saturday…get your tickets and come hang out with me!), and Hurricane Sandy (along with my lack of planning and prelim tomorrow) interfered with my throwing a flaming pumpkin in the gorge, I’m kind of in a pinch.
So much to my chagrin, and while I pray that this post never gets forwarded to my grandparents, I’m going to tackle #91 (hook up with a freshman) and #135 (hook up with someone randomly and then see them every day afterward). And to whoever commented that I write about #1, I think you need to realize we’re barely halfway through the first semester…hold your horses, a sister’s gotta keep things interesting.
My friends would kill me for divulging their most embarrassing (re: hilarious) stories to the Internet world, and to prevent my own embarrassment when this blog gets distributed to my entire family, the names have been changed to protect the innocent (apparently that is a reference to the series Dragnet…who knew?).
Let’s go back to 2009…fall of freshman year. My friends and I were hitting up frat parties left and right, and the song Alejandro by Lady Gaga was just entering the scene (yes, freshmen, when I was your age, that was the hot new music). So one night we head on over to an 80’s party where, as I was told by seemingly knowledgeable sorority girls, it was not cool to dress in theme. Oops. We’re all getting down to, you guessed it, Alejandro, when one of us (see what I did there…super mysterious) MET A (freshman, check off # 91) GUY NAMED ALEJANDRO.
Sidenote: For all you How I Met Your Mother Fans out there, I bet you’ve wondered if the “Have you met Ted” game works, and, my dear readers, it does. Later that fall we were at a party, and I decided to play the “Haaaaave you met ____” game, AND IT WORKED!!! No joke, that line has worked half of the times I’ve used it, so I think it’s time for all of us to start taking some wingman lesson from Mr. Barney Stinson.
Now the story you all have been waiting for, the one that checks off both #91 and #135. Just like the others, it began at a party I went to with my friends. One of us started dancing with a young fella who proceeded to tell her that he was a senior in the fraternity, and how if she ever wanted to get in to the house for a party when there was a long line, she should just say his name. Perhaps it was her freshman naiveté, or perhaps he was a really good liar, but she believed him either way. This made it super awkward when she sat next to him in RPCC at Sunday brunch the next day.
The next spotting was in the Donlon Morgue (my friends and I started to get better at “spotting” him than Gossip Girl herself [or himself, as my friend is forcing me to concede]). Then comes Homecoming weekend, and we’re at a party in Collegetown, and whom do we run into other than Mr. 91/135? So we went up to him to confront him on his so-not-a-senior status… His response: “I lie when I’m drunk.” At that point in time, we all appreciated the honesty. Well, that wasn’t the last we saw of him…pretty much any time we’re all together, anywhere, it’s likely that we run into that fellow. If that’s not the definition of Awksauce City, I really don’t know what is.
Anyyyywhooooo…hope to see all you folks Saturday at the Hangovers concert!
Jaime Freilich is a senior in the College of Human Ecology. She may be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Big Red Ambition appears on Wednesdays.
Original Author: Jaime Freilich