February 27, 2013

Cornell University Confessions: A New Way to Procrastinate

Print More

Launched at the beginning of the week, Cornell University Confessions is a page on Facebook where people can anonymously post something that they would like to get off their chests… or something completely inappropriate and immature. But either way, reading it is better than studying for Orgo, right?

Here are some of the gems that have been posted thus far:

I don’t always put marbles in peoples gas tanks but when you cheat on me, I put the whole bag in.

Things that take my breath away: Libe Slope The hill from the foot bridge to Roberts Hall The stairs to Baker from North and then going up to the second floor On the computer mouses in the library, I put tape on the bottom of the mouses and watch people have difficulty figuring out why it doesn’t work.

I’ve seen my friend take selective meat juices and mix it into the Vegan dishes. Those poor vegans….

At my job on campus, there are a lot of Lost and Found items unclaimed. I will tell my friends the description of these items to have them come in and grab them for me. Can’t wait for someone to lose an Ipad!

I like it when my apartment’s empty so I can run around and make spaceship noises and no one will judge me.

The first comment my mom made when she came to Cornell to visit was, “All the boys here are so scrawny! How are they going to defend you?!” It’s a valid concern.

Sometimes when I’m cooking in my kitchen and my godawful housemate begins to speak, I imagine hitting her across the head with a frying pan. Hard.

The prelims I’ve done best on are the ones I pre-game for.

dropped a class because I didn’t want to do a homework assignment

The TCAT is not the only bus I ride every single day at Cornell: THE STRUGGLE BUS.

When you are chatting on your laptop in front of me during lecture, I totally read your conversation.

After a long week…..I’m fully prepared to lose all my dignity this weekend….

I can’t fathom how people manage to shower every day because I have enough trouble finding time to eat

The only thing I like about Cornell is that it makes for good Instagram pictures.

I hate people who judge each other’s worth by sororities or fraternities.

I just want to be drunk at thumpty

I genuinely enjoy peanut butter more than most peoples’ company

I used to use the terms “yolo” and “swag” ironically but it isn’t ironic anymore. they’ve become staples of my speech patterns and I can’t stop

Prelims and problem sets and papers unwritten Trudging through snowstorms with fingers frostbitten Ithaca winters won’t morph into springs, These are a few of my “”favorite”” things…

The main reason why I listen to music while walking to class is that my headphones keep my ears warm

To the international kid who has said horrible things about me in another language in front of me…..FYI I can understand what you say

Original Author: Sun Staff