In case you live under a rock, this week the Supreme Court is beginning its deliberations on the legality of the Defense of Marriage Act. As Kaitlyn Tiffany masterfully explained in her Sun Blog yesterday, this is the case of our generation! This is our Roe v. Wade, our Brown v. Board of Education! Pay attention!
Anyway, I can’t stop thinking and reading about it, so I really couldn’t write about anything else this week. Gay people should be allowed to get married because they are people, but in case you aren’t convinced by that argument alone, here are some less-publicized advantages to the legalization of gay marriage.
1. It will be great for the economy. Legalizing marriage for any two people opens up a huge market for the wedding industry. Just imagine the over-the-top expensive wedding a stereotypical gay man would throw. Expensive or not, more weddings means more jobs and stronger small businesses that dominate the wedding industry.
2. Speaking of over-the-top weddings, how fun would it be to go to these weddings? In my experience, gay people know how to have fun. They have to deal with so much crap from society that when they get loose, they get real loose. Don’t even get me started on bachelor(ette) parties.
3. Gay weddings would also eliminate the whole crazy pressure there is on us heterosexuals to bring a romantic date to the event: bringing a same-sex buddy is more than okay.
4. All of my gay guy friends can participate in my favorite past-time: “Husband Watch 2013.”
5. Gay youth would have more role models to, well, model themselves after. I feel like when I was younger, if I had thought I was a lesbian, it would have been much less confusing if I saw lesbian couples validated as much as straight couples.
6. More Facebook wedding albums to stalk.
7. If lesbians are allowed to get married, more women may wear tuxedos. Is it just me, or do men unfairly dominate the pantsuit market? Suits are the bomb. A woman wearing a suit is so powerful and beautiful, especially on an occasion as special as a wedding.
8. Lesbians getting married could create the spin-off show, “Say Yes to the Dress: Two Brides,” which, I’ll say publicly, is the only disadvantage to the legalization of gay marriage … but you know I’ll be watching it.
9. There could be flower boys and ring bearer girls! As a little girl, I would totally have wanted to be in charge of that gold because I was a baller. Leave the flower throwing to the boys.
10. If the Supreme Court rules that same-sex marriage is legal now, they’ll save all of the states a lot of time and effort. My home state of Pennsylvania could probably use its time debating other issues such as reforming our crazy alcohol laws.
11. All of the gay people I know, who are some of the most caring, loving people I’ve ever met, will strengthen the institution of marriage, not weaken it.
12. Lastly, there will be more fancy cake. Case closed.
Morgan Bookheimer is a senior in the College of Human Ecology. She may be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Behind the Time appears alternate Thursdays this semester.
Original Author: Morgan Bookheimer