April 10, 2013

10 Questions with Ebolutalese Airwele

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Ten Questions columnist Katie Schubaeur sits down with senior Ebolutalese Airwele to discuss her nickname, love for Amazon and her love of Beyonce.

1. OT, you are a junior on the women’s track team. What has track meant to you over the course of your college career?I’m from Ithaca, so I had a bunch of friends coming into Cornell and I thought I was set with friends. But then when you join the track team you’re automatically pulled together with this big group of people. It’s not like in high school where you just do it because it’s something to do after school and it’s a co-ed sport. You really love it and are passionate about it and everyone on the team is as good as you are. It’s amazing. You have this big family of girls and guys that are really passionate about something and we all love each other. We’re the only ones here who really understand having an all-year season. We start in August and end in May so we have lots of movie nights together and we go out together when we can. It’s like having a big family on campus. You never feel lonely.Who is your favorite teammate?That’s a really hard question. I guess on the girls’ team it would have to be my roommates because they’re all awesome and I live with them so they have to deal with me on a daily basis. But by far my best friend is Daniel Scott. He’s the greatest. He’s me in a guy form.

Can you tell us about the unofficial track awards ceremony freshmen year?Oh. Alright. Well, we have a ceremony with the team where we give out awards to each other and they pretty much just call you out for funny things you’ve done over the course of the year. My freshmen year, I got called out for a lot of craziness. It was good because it changed me as a person, but it was kind of a painful night.Is it true that even as a varsity athlete, you hate water?I think it’s disgusting. It’s pointless. It tastes like nothing. It’s a waste of my time. I recently discovered that seltzer counts as water, so I’ve been drinking a lot of seltzer lately. Water is just dumb. Like animals drink water. Why should I drink water?

2. Your real name is Ebolutalese, but everyone calls you OT. Where did that nickname come from?Okay, so when I lived in Nigeria, I was a tyrant as a child. It was my way or the highway. And in my mom’s language, OT means ‘no,’ so my nanny would say ‘no’ to me all the time. She would say ‘no, no, no,’ but there, it was ‘OT, OT, OT.’ So everyone just started calling me that. And it’s better than ET.Is it true that you think you’re a Nigerian princess?OK, Nigeria doesn’t technically have a royal bloodline, but if there were to be one, I would say I would be pretty up there. So yes. And if other people want to believe that I am one that would be fine with me.

3. Can you please describe your love for Amazon?(Gasps) Oh God. I don’t know how to describe the feelings I have for Amazon. It’s kind of like when I’m feeling tired or sad or had a bad day I just go on Amazon and start shopping. Maybe I want some beige wedge heels. I start browsing. Three hours later I have like 80 things in my shopping cart. You can buy toilet paper on Amazon, gushers, candy —I heard you really enjoy buying gushers from Amazon.Yeah, you can buy a 36 pack box so I don’t need to go to the store … ever. There’s no point. Shoes, pants — nothing I’m wearing today is from Amazon but yesterday was an all-Amazon outfit. I just love it, and I think that I should be their most valued customer.

4. In terms of your going out habits, I’ve heard that you enjoy getting ready to Anastasia and other Disney songs. Is that true?Yes. A lot of times when I get prepared — I know people have a party playlist — but I like to go back to Disney tunes, specifically “In the Dark of the Night.” Lion King has been on a few times, Little Mermaid, definitely Aladdin. It really gets me pumped up. And once in a while I throw a little Celine Dion in there. Mix it up.How do you feel about a capella?It’s pointless. One of my best friends is in an a capella group and I had to listen to the concert. Good for her. Whatever. But like I lived in Balch my freshmen year, and there would be all these arch sings with all these people singing and you can’t get into your dorms. I would like to study for my finals. I don’t want to hear you singing for three hours outside my dorm. Also, what are we, the twenty-first century? Evolve. Get a keyboard. Buy a musical instrument. Like Stevie Wonder has a great voice and what did he do? He played piano. A capella is stupid. Evolve. I hate it. Invite me to your concert and I won’t go. It’s pointless.

5. Can you tell us about your love for prisoners?I think that a society is defined by how it treats the worst in society. So I have developed a love for prisoners and prisoner reform. I actually met a former prisoner at Cornell that really has meant a lot to me as I’ve gone through my years here. I also love bad boys, what can I say?On the topic of boys it true you have a different boy cooking for you every night?That is not true, everyone! I don’t know how to cook. Sometimes people I meet like to volunteer to teach me how to cook. That’s fine. And I like breakfast.

6. What is ‘Rachet?’You know what the word “ghetto” is? Rachet is the ghetto word for “ghetto.” So let’s say you’re at Walmart and you see a lady that you identify as “ghetto” and then you look at her outfit and she’s wearing high-heeled Timberland boots, a jersey jacket [and] her hair is like seven to eight different colors: she’s rachet. She has no holds bar. Rachet is like if the only team you’re on is the twerk team, then you’re rachet. I’m a huge fan. There aren’t a lot around Cornell.Speaking of hair, how do you feel about people touching your hair?Don’t. Just don’t. It’s not a petting zoo. You can look but you can’t touch. You can’t ever. I will lose friendships over it. You are not allowed to.

7. Can you describe your feelings for Beyonce?(Sighs) You know sometimes when you go to church and the pastor really gets into what he’s saying? That’s how I feel about Beyonce. I shake whenever I see her, I cried when I learned she was pregnant — I cried for hours. I think that Beyone is the perfect everything. Like so what if she’s in the Illuminati? She should be if she wants to. She’s perfect. I love her. Everything about her is perfect. I love my mom. I really, really love my mom and she’s like up here, and Beyonce is only a tiny bit below her, and then everyone else is just way below.What about Nicki Minaj?Ugh, no. If you could lock someone up in solitary confinement and never see them again for the rest of your life, it wouldn’t even be good enough for Nicki Minaj. She is a terrible human. I feel the same way about Kim Kardashian. You know how you report diseases to the CDC? I would report those two to the CDC.What type of events do you feel are worthy of reactivating your Facebook?If Beyonce texted me and told me she would friend me on Facebook and she would delete all her other friends and I would be her only friend, probably that. But the truth is, I have my roommate’s password so I can still creep on everyone whenever I want.

8. What significance does the term ‘coco radiant’ have?Okay so in America, we use the terms ‘black’, ‘white,’ whatever, to describe people’s skin colors. I am not black. My skin color is not black. It’s not a Crayola marker. I believe I’m coco radiant. A little bit of coco color and I’m radiant. I want to copyright it, market it.

9. You are in charge of social awareness for your sorority and you are quite the personality on Twitter, but you apparently have hundreds of t

ext messages that you have chosen not to open. Why is that?Okay, sometimes people send you text messages and there’s just no response to them. It’s like cool, good for you, I don’t care. So there is no point in me replying. I’ll just see you in person. I think right now I’m up to about 131 text messages that I haven’t looked at. But in my defense a lot of them are group texts that I just don’t want to read because I’ll get caught up in like an hour of responding to them.I hear you are famous especially among people who have attended hockey games. Were those jumbotron feature videos your on-screen debut?(Laughing) Okay, so that advertisement played at MSG and there were like eight different commercials with people way more important in the athletic world than I am. But they decided to show the one of me running in slow motion with the title “Fast” like what is that? It was my on-screen debut and I’m kind of disappointed that more famous athletes didn’t text me. I didn’t get more followers on Twitter, Beyonce didn’t friend me. Like seriously, B, I’m at Madison Square Garden, what more could you want? Jay-Z played a concert here only a few weeks before. I’m doing everything I can do. Beyonce, where are you?Do you have any hopes to be on TV in the future?I actually tweeted the other day that I hope Oprah doesn’t become irrelevant before she can name me as her successor. I feel like the best outlet for myself is on TV maybe in a self-help show where I tell people what they’re doing wrong.If you had your own TV show, what would it be called?That’s a good question. I was talking about that with my mom the other day and I really couldn’t decide. I think maybe ‘Ebolutalese: Coco Radiance.’

10. What other Cornell team do you like to hang out with the most?Boo-yah. Technically, I should say the men’s track team, but they haven’t been doing enough abs lately for that accolade. I think maybe men’s soccer team because I like what they’ve been doing lately. I’m a big fan. Keep doing what you’re doing.

Original Author: Katie Schubauer