Natalia Fallas ’14 gives her predicitons for this season of Dancing with the Stars featuring our very own Bill Nye ’77.Cue the Bill Nye the Science Guy theme song to play through your inner 90’s kid mind as you read the rest of this post.
As many of you have heard — or not, because no one actually pays attention to who’s on Dancing with the Stars anymore unless they’re in that 40-dead age group — beloved Cornellian, Bill Nye, will be fighting for the coveted Mirrorball trophy for the upcoming season. He will be joined by a bunch of fellow celebrities — I use the term as loosely as possible — coming from all angles of stardom. In the reality show field, we’ve got the Jersey-but-actually-from-Poughkeepsie-meatball, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, as well as foul-mouthed, Jack Osbourne.
There are plenty of current and former television stars: Glee’s Amber Riley, King of Queens’ Leah Remini, Pretty Little Liars’ Brant Daugherty, Saved by the Bell’s Elizabeth Berkley, The Mary Tyler Moore Show’s Valerie Harper and High School Musical’s Corbin Bleu. We of course have the former NFL player staple with Keyshawn Johnson. And last, but not least, are Blue Collar Comedian, Bill Engvall and singer/actress, Christina Milian (“From AM to PM” is still my jam).
Current front-runners are Corbin Bleu and Christina Milian, since they technically know how to dance. We can also throw Keyshawn Johnson in the list, as NFL players have shown quite the ballroom prowess in the past (I’m looking at you, Emmitt Smith). Playing to the audience’s heartstrings will be Valerie Harper and Jack Osbourne. Harper has been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and was even projected to not make it past the summer, but has obviously shown cancer who’s boss. Jack Osbourne also revealed earlier this year that he has been diagnosed with the debilitating disease, multiple sclerosis. Not that they won’t do well in their own right, but America does love to root for the underdogs.
So where does that put Mr. Nye? Well, I hate to be a pessimist, but I don’t think he will make it too far in the competition. I see him definitely beating Engvall. He does have the 90s nostalgia bankability factor working for him, as well as all of the Cornell network, which will definitely campaign for him to go as far in the competition as possible (at least, I sure hope so). Maybe he’ll get to incorporate some scientific tidbits into his act. Maybe they’ll forgo the traditional garb and let him wear his signature white lab coat. And best of all, maybe that lab coat will be bedazzled in sequins.
So go forth, Cornell. Represent. Help our science guy make it far and remind America that we’re an Ivy, too, and that we can dance even if we do seem like a bunch of nerds.
Original Author: Natalia Fallas