November 19, 2013

BYRNE: Five Things That Should Never Be Discussed

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Last week, I listened to an episode of This American Life, in which an old woman, the mother of one of the normal NPR people, discussed the seven topics she had been taught never to talk about with company. I thought that these would be things that were uncouth to bring up, or that would make people uncomfortable, but they turned out to just be seven things that the woman thought were boring. To honor this fantastic old woman’s rules, I came up with my own list of topics that I really just never want to hear anyone talk about.

There you have it: Don’t say these things, and I will have no reason to slap/hate/ignore you. I know this column is rather negative, but my last column was pretty happy, and deep down, I’m really a bitch. I can’t pretend to be positive and kid-friendly for two weeks in a row. That’s really asking way too much.