By JESSI GOLDMAN
In a school where bars close at one and libraries are open all night, each of us feels the pressure of doing well. But regardless of how much Adderall I take coffee I drink and how many all-nighters I pull, there is one task that I will never master: The Group Project.
I get that doing a project with classmates teaches you valuable lessons like learning to tolerate people who aren’t as smart as you and making it seem like you’ve done more work than you have … but it’s just not fair.
The people in your group, much like the majority of the people in your class, are freaking annoying. They either don’t show up to meetings, annoy you when you don’t show up to meetings (sorry, I had a manicure appointment) or are just plain stupid. There is literally not enough coffee in Cornell (though that’s not saying much) for me to tolerate the dumb ones. HOW DID YOU EVEN GET INTO THIS SCHOOL?
Much like Albert Einstein and Sheldon Cooper, I do my best work by myself. So thanks but no thanks, group assignments; I’d rather not.
The person responsible for kicking over all the white boards on the second floor of Mann