February 6, 2014

BERRY PATCH: Give Us a Break

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Give Us a Break Next week, Cornellians will embark on their first-ever February break, a four-day weekend announced last year in an effort to improve student mental health. As supporters of the continuing effort to promote student stress-relief, we at The Sun set out to investigate any spaces in the the academic calendar that would lend themselves to additional breaks. We sent out our best Berry Patch reporters — at least, the ones who hadn’t announced their own personal snow week — to interview passer-bys about the most-needed holidays at Cornell.

Mid-Easter and Passover Break: For students who celebrate both holidays, the one-two punch of chocolate bunnies and chocolate matzah can be a little overwhelming. For students who celebrate neither, the influx of related products into drugstores and Wegmans alike can provoke panic — what holiday does the tinsel and brightly colored eggs signify, again? And am I supposed to buy anyone a present? It’s probably best to give students off to contemplate these hard-hitting questions.

4/20: Need we say more? While unofficially celebrated by many Cornell students, this date causes unnecessary stress, giggling and munchies (read: clearly total CHAOS) when it conflicts with regularly scheduled classes. Not to mention all the firetrucks mistakenly deployed by the Ithaca Fire Department in response to plumes of smoke seeping from dorm room windows. In the name of all that is edible, we call on Cornell to legalize this holiday.

Grover Cleveland’s Birthday: He’s no Howard Taft, but for too long, this special man has — unfairly — been the subject of snickering upon the first mention of his name. We have George Washington’s birthday off now — who’s to say Washington is any more important than our boy Grover? It’s just wrong to not allow students a full day to ruminate about Cleveland’s multitude of achievements. Or at least, to Google them.

October 3: Students need a full day off from school so they can remember to make their Facebook statuses “On October third, he asked me what day it was. … It’s October third.” Scientists have shown that no matter how many prelims, papers and group projects students had due two days ago, this simple act relieves pressure by 200 percent and brings students closer to their inner Mean Girls.

The Day After Slope Day: … Oh, wait.