March 18, 2014

BYRNE | Five Times It’s Easy To Be an Asshole

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Some of my favorite people in the world are assholes, both in my actual life and in the world of pop culture: Louis C.K., my grandpa, Beyoncé (she is, if you saw the documentary you’d know), Bo Burnham, my best friend, the list goes on and on. Overall, I pretty much don’t trust a person if they’re not a jerk at least some of the time. However, there must be a limit to all this douchebaggery. What differentiates a loveable idiot from a complete imbecile to me are the opportunities one does or does not take to insult everyone around them. If it’s too easy to criticize someone, too mean or too mainstream, it is considerably less enjoyable to do so. Here are some such situations where I just can’t take the side of the jerk.

As usual, this is an abridged list of the many types of people I hold issue with; clearly, not even historical figures are exempt from my contempt. Consider this a sarcastic, annoying public service announcement: If you can help it, don’t be rude. Unless you write an opinion column for The Sun, in which case I think that just grants me immunity.