September 21, 2015

CHERNER | Winter Wear

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“Worried about the Ithaca winter?”

I am asked this weather-related inquiry more times than any other Cornell-Ivy-League-Academic-related question you could imagine. To answer, NO — I am not worried about the Ithaca winter because my Cornell acceptance letter wasn’t only a first class invitation to a world-renowned research university, but also an opportunity for an entirely new coat wardrobe. This is my personal justification for applying to only northern schools with winter temperatures that dip into the negative twenties.

Besides my Communication Major, I believe that I am also refining my temperature combatting skills with the help of online shopping.  And with this knowledge I can offer some advice to anyone from California, Hawaii or not-the-Midwest about how to stay warm this winter. On a trial and error basis, I found that it comes down to five items:

1. I would like to believe that there is a both a warm and attractive winter boot out there, but Boggs boots aren’t them. Honestly, they look like the boots the cranberry pickers wear in the Ocean Spray commercials. However, they are good for something. Out of the 600 girls who participated in sorority rush last winter, I can say pretty confidently that 599 of them had frozen feet. Thank you, Boggs, for saving my numb feet from my frozen stilettos on the walk between sorority houses.

2. Although the “basic white girl” movement has slandered their name, I am a firm believer that no leggings can shape a butt like Lululemons. And if you are the one percent exception of Lulu shoppers that buy leggings for actual exercise, I apologize. For everyone else, look for the winter insulated leggings and thank me later.

3. Don’t make the mistake of wearing a cotton Cornell sweatshirt and hoping you will be warm. Instead, invest in cashmere. Or in my case, steal your brother’s cashmere sweater that you know looks better on you. I am not a fiber science major, but I do know that cashmere is the warmest fabric out there — even if the Eskimos beg to differ.

4. FUN FACT: Cornell is home to one of the most beautiful and rare flock migrations in the world. The birds? Canada geese. The migration season? Winter. Walk down Campus Road and spot your average black coats flocking together, but look closely and you’ll see the hidden gems: grey, navy, hunter green, red and the Kate Upton-inspired white. And yes, if you’re not naked underneath that white Canada goose, you’re not wearing it right and should just go with black.

5. My apologies to the Eskimos. They don’t do cashmere but they have fur figured out.  A disclaimer: I am a fur enthusiast, so if you have a PETA sticker on your computer just read fur as faux and move on. An anecdote: I played the role of “live-in therapist” for my freshman roommate and her boyfriend. They are both friends of mine, but I did find myself in a few questionable situations like breaking up with him, fighting with him and advising him on “how not to fuck up.” The moral: they are in love, he bought me a fur scarf for my “therapeutic advice” and if you’re going to provide emotional support, do it for someone who enjoys shopping at Barney’s.

If you’re from the Midwest, I apologize because this doesn’t apply to you and your 40 below winters. For everyone else who is dreading the ice setting in, take a page from my blog. I am here to share my wardrobe opinions and advice for this campus that — in my opinion — currently lacks some light fashion reading.