A very important piece of advice you’ll receive at some point in your life is “don’t live with your significant other too soon in the relationship.” Understood. There are several reasons for this. If you break up it will be awkward, you’re with each other so many hours of the day that, especially at the early stage of the relationship, it can get boring, you’ll get distracted, pooping with them in the apartment is awkward, etc.
So then what happens if you start, accidentally (I swear), fucking your roommate? Hear me out. I realized at the start of sophomore year that I’d be homeless junior year, so I rushed to find roommates on Cornell’s Facebook group. Luckily I got a message soon to meet up with some people and quickly signed my lease for next year. I only, however, met three of the four people I’d be living with. All I knew about the fourth roommate was that he was a quiet engineer. Junior year rolls around and I moved into my apartment, unpacked and am sitting in the living room minding my own business when a 6’3”, jaw-dropping, oh-my-god-how-is-this-person-not-on-TV kind of hot guy walks in. I’m talking biceps, triceps, shoulders, back, pecs, abs (and all the other muscles I don’t know the names of or that they even existed) protruding from the off-white t-shirt he’s wearing. “Hey there!” It took me a couple of seconds before I muttered a quiet hey. Part of me was praying he was my roommate’s boyfriend, but it slowly settled in that I was already developing a crush on my roommate.
It started with little things: picking on each other for words we used, inside jokes, catching each other staring… Then longer conversations in each other’s rooms, him helping me with my work, walks outside to look for Pokémon… And of course that one time we took a shot too many and I decided to challenge ‘him to find my hidden tattoo. I thought I’d make him struggle a little more so I flipped off the light switch in my room leaving only my fairy lights to guide him. I leaned back on my dresser as I smirked at him. He neared me and kissed my neck hard as he flipped me around tracing my upper back with his fingers and pulling down my shorts as he slid down my body slapping my ass and kissing the back of my thighs. I started giggling as he flipped me back around and started inspecting the front of my body. He pulled my shirt up above my head and drew each bra strap down as he traced my collarbone with his tongue. Pulling my bra down, he began inspecting my breasts, nibbling on my nipples and I moaned softly. I was off my feet before I knew it, lying back on my bed. I opened my eyes as he pulled his shirt off over his head. As he tossed it under the bed I reached forward and unbuckled his pants, pulling them down to reveal Mickey Mouse boxers — I knew he was the one who left them in the dryer last week…
He flipped me over and I realized we were going for reverse cowgirl. Of course I knew this was his favorite position from the conversation I had with one of the girls he hooked up with on Tinder when she sat in our living room nervously waiting for him to wake up the morning after. Despite the angular challenges cowgirl poses, I did my best, and then we were thankfully back to basic Cosmo stuff I could actually keep up with.
Point of all this being that this is the kid I have to eat Sunday brunch with, who has to see me with my retainer in, hair all over the place as I rush out of the house for my morning classes. BUT also the guy I get to innocently walk around wearing nothing but a towel, or no bra or pants since after all, well, he’s my roommate… And that’s an innocent relationship, right?
The Duchess is a student at Cornell. Comments can be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org. Between the Sheets appears periodically this semester.