When I gave my first blowjob, I was really nervous. Sure, I had heard about it from my friends, who assured me there was no way I could fuck it up (unless I literally bit the guy’s dick off — ouch). I read countless Cosmo articles and “How-To” columns to make sure that I would deliver a top-notch, excellent blowjob.
Bottom line, I was really prepared for the first time I gave head. Let’s be frank, it really isn’t rocket science, but nevertheless, I felt slight pressure to be great at it. So I read some more, “practiced,” and asked for constructive feedback — basically the scientific method equivalent of sucking dick.
This set me up for a pretty disappointing experience receiving head from my male counterparts these past couple of years. In my experience, most of them suck. My first reaction was anger because I find it incredibly unfair that like me, most women I know have researched and care about giving amazing blowjobs, while our male counterparts get by flicking their useless tongues around for two minutes in the most ineffective manner. How hard could it possibly be?
Unfortunately, the female-equivalent act of pleasure isn’t as popularly depicted on TV or social media, and there is substantially less “how-to” literature and common knowledge about the anatomy of the female genitalia to guide our male partners. Along with the intersectional female wage gap, this is a critical issue we must tackle as a society.
So here it goes. How to eat a girl out:
- Start off making out and take your time. Unless this is a prearranged quickie, there’s no rush, and personally, making out is an excellent way for the vagina to get lubricated and excited for the rest of this adventure.
- Get consent. Every woman is different, every time you have sex is different, and every sexual act is different, so make sure you both are comfortable as your adventure progresses. A simple and super hot way to do this is to whisper, “you like that/[insert act]” next to your partner’s ear.
- Kiss, lick, suck and bite as you descend — especially the inner thigh area. Once you’re here, get comfortable. If you’re feeling bold, look up… yes, eye contact is hot.
- Next, begin licking slowly. Like a painter, feel out your canvas, and once you know what you’re working with, find the clit, which is a fleshy, bean-looking body part found in the inner top part of the vagina. Think 12 o’clock.
- Begin with gentle flicks and light pressure. Draw letters/shapes/numbers with your whole tongue and ask your partner if that’s working for her. Then, get creative with the pressure, rhythm and sucking mix, but if something specific is working, keep it consistent!
- Depending on the comfort level of your partner, you may want to incorporate fingering. The objective isn’t to shove your fingers up her vagina aimlessly, but rather to stimulate the G-spot. To do this successfully, gently insert your index and middle fingers with your palm faced-up, and flex your fingers in a “come here” motion. Adjust tempo to your partner’s desire.
- Use your free hand to explore and caress her thighs, breasts, booty, etc., and don’t underestimate the sexiness of simply holding her hand.
- By this point, you’re probably driving her crazy — congrats! She may orgasm, she may not, she may pull you back up to make out, she may want sex, she may be done, she may give you head next… bottom line: communicate.
Ladies, I hope this is the most influential Sex on Thursdays column your Cornell male partners read, so be lavish with your feedback to them, and I sincerely hope you all receive mind-blowing head this Thursday!
Veuve Cliq-Hoe is a student at Cornell University. Fire & Ice and Cherries in the Snow appears monthly this semester.