September 19, 2018

SEX ON THURSDAY | Relationship Status: Vibin’

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A slight buzz lingered in my room as the morning sunshine poured into my window and a lustful moan escaped from my lips. My tan leg muscles clenched and uneven movements broke the peace under my white sheets. Seconds later, bright colors burst in my veins and shivers sparked electrically from my core to the tips of my fingers. What better way to start a Sunday morning?

Much to my comfort, there was no one on the other side of the bed that Sunday. I was alone in my room enjoying the gift I had gotten myself earlier that week. On Monday, I came across an Instagram ad of a vibrator so chic and innovative that I had to have it. So I bought it. And this self-gifted orgasm marked a technological revolution in my sexual life, for now, I had a variety of vibrational settings and a sleek USB-rechargable new lover.

This purchase also left me wondering, why are vibrators so mystical and how soon is too soon to get another one? Not soon enough, obviously, yet as I looked online for my next toy, I realized how confusing it is to actually buy a sex toy. After all, if I’m paying over $100 for something, it better be worth my money, but how do I know it will work?


6 Shameless Questions to Ask:

  1. Is the material safe?
  2. How long does the battery last and how do you charge it?
  3. Is this an ideal product for a beginner?
  4. How many different settings does it have?
  5. Is this for the clit or G-spot…why not both?
  6. What is the sensitivity like?


In my experience, reading the reviews is the most important thing to do, and this also revealed a dramatic contrast between what sex toy manufacturers design and intend versus what women’s bodies actually desire. To my surprise, the majority of sex toy manufacturers and designers are men, so many vibrators and dildos aren’t actually comfortable or designed to fit adequately, and thus are not five-star products in their user’s eyes.

Looking at more options, I also realized that we’re truly in a revolutionizing era of the sex toy industry. Women are no longer accepting pink vibrators that don’t understand their bodies. Instead, women are creating products that acknowledge their needs and desires while at the same time normalizing the perception of women’s pleasure. Needless to say, I found this a mission worth investing in.

My Top 5 Feminist Sex Toys and Shops:

  1. The Frenchman by Smilemakers: a clitoral vibrator that mimics the delicate touch of a tongue in sensual light blue
  2. Vesper by Lovecrave: a sophisticated and badass clitoral vibrator that doubles as a trendy necklace because self-love is something to brag about.
  3. Jolie Waterproof Vibrator by Natural Contours: a high-style, G-spot stimulator made by a company run by a sex-positive feminist, producer of pornography and sex educator.
  4. Good Vibrations: a sex-positive, worker-owned cooperative pioneer in the sex shop industry.
  5. Good For Her: a shop that fosters honest and open dialogues about sex, which started when its founder taught her friends how to achieve an orgasm.

Shyness, shame or being spoiled for choice shouldn’t deter you from making a sensational purchase, so I invite you all to celebrate your orgasms with a lover that won’t break your heart!

Veuve Cliq-Hoe is a student at Cornell University. Fire & Ice and Cherries in the Snow appears monthly this semester.