The year is crashing to a close and that cutie whose video you pin in discussion section just got their second dose. Pop a squat in their Zoom DM’s and shove yourself into their frame of view before they book it back to New Jersey. Cast your doubts to the side and go get boba with that guy who’s attractive in two of his tinder pictures but not in the other three. Put your dick on the table and text that girl from your FWS who your measly little freshman self could only admire from afar. Live dangerously. Or don’t, I don’t care — go for comfort and indulge in a few final, familiar fornication sessions with that “friend” you’ve been fucking for a frighteningly long time. All I wish for is that you have some sick sex before you depart Ithaca and begin your silly little virtual “internship.”
Now that we’ve established you will be having sex soon, let me put you on to some sensual shanties to soundtrack the event. The following lists are organized in no particular order.
For wistful, melancholy, poetic sex:
(This grouping is most familiar to me among the four, so I’ve added some experience-driven details.)
SiR, Masego — “Ooh Nah Nah”
This psalm of my sex life couples Masego’s perfectly pitched scatting and seductive command of the saxophone with SiR’s unfailingly incredible lyricism, to synthesize an experience better than most sex I’ve had. In further consideration, you don’t even need to have sex to this song. The song is sex enough.
- Isaiah Rashad, Syd — “Silkk da Shocka”
The album is an iconic one, and I urge the uncultured swine among you who have yet to listen to the whole thing, to do so immediately. I kid, but I guarantee that both the sex you have and the fantasies you fabricate will be all the better if put to the tune of literally any Isaiah Rashad song.
- Puma Blue — “Want Me”
This one is for slow, sentimental sex between sad people. Jokes aside, this song is among my favorites to fuck to, cry to and walk in the rain to.
- Vince Staples, 6lack, Mereba — “Yo Love”
The “Queen & Slim” soundtrack blessed us with a lot of material entitled to far more recognition than it received, with pieces by the likes of Ms. Lauryn Hill, Blood Orange, BJ The Chicago Kid, Megan Thee Stallion, Choker, and Moses Sumney (please, give “Doomed” a listen). “Yo Love” seems to have caught more air under its wings than the rest, however, and for good reason. The fluid melody, for which Mereba’s steady yet highly impassioned vocals are a perfect match, weaves in and out of calm and composed rap verses that, in consideration of his other works, remind us of Staples’ versatility in style and pitch. With that, the song gives way to an emotive but laid back atmosphere ideal for a sensual moment with that person you once meant only to be your fuckbuddy but have begun developing a deeper affiliation with that you both avoid addressing.
- Angelo Mota — “Madonna”
A solemn tune dragged along by a somewhat lethargic rhythm — I’d recommend this for some indica-fueled, sentimental, sleepy sex.
- Yeek, Max of Homestead — “Cosmic Freeway”
Cool song, but beware of the lengthy monologue placed two minutes from the song’s end. You won’t want to be in the midst of things when you’ve suddenly got to pause the activity at hand so you can find your phone and skip to the next song.
- SiR, Schoolboy Q — “Something Foreign”
SiR’s endlessly soothing voice and masterful songwriting have landed him two spots on this list. And the song has Schoolboy Q in it.
- Yellow Days — “A Little While”
This one’s for the breed of indie kids into a Cosmo Pyke / Jakob Ogawa (he dropped his aestheticization of Asian names and just goes by Jakob now) / Gus Dapperton type beat.
But the raspy fervor with which Yellow Days often delivers his music gives the room a more provocative air.
- HYUKOH — “Simon”
This Korean indie rock band is perfect for some mellow bed-rocking.
- The Strokes — “Call It Fate, Call It Karma”
Very slow stuff. A beautiful song for a leisure make out or for winding the evening down.
- Smino, Ravyn Lenae — “Glass Flows”
Really almost any one of Smino’s countless other masterpieces would do. In particular, the album that contains this song always makes for solid sex music. This song’s got Ravyn Lenae in it though, adding an appealingly intriguing layer to Smino’s swift and dynamic style.
- Girl Ultra, Cuco — “DameLove”
Rather Cuco-esque, but with a beautiful female voice.
- HOMESHAKE — “Give It to Me”
A slow, charming song that combines a Temporex-style synth beat with an endearing electric guitar tune and gentle vocals. A cute song for some cute sex.
- Her’s — “Cool with You”
A lovely specimen of British indie pop. Slow, with firm and low-pitched (for pop-indie) vocals.
- Joey Badass — “Love Is Only a Feeling”
You already know this song.
- Glass Animals — “Cocoa Hooves”
I had to put at least one Glass Animals song on here.
For moody, sexy, heated sex:
- SiR, Kendrick Lamar — “Hair Down”
- Mick Jenkins — “Flaunt”
- Rapsody, Anderson.Paak — “OooWee”
- Aaron May — “Let Go”
- Greentea Peng — “Downers”
- Injury Reserve, Freddie Gibbs — “Wax On”
- SiR — “D’Evils”
- Jay2 — “Pomegranate”
- Childish Major, Shelley FKA Dram, 6lack — “I Like You”
- Smino — “Spinz”
- Mick Jenkins — “Jazz”
For jolly, playful, bouncy sex:
- Smino — “Tempo”
- Duckwrth — “Crush”
- Buddy — “Trouble on Central”
- Fever the Ghost — “Source”
- Buddy, Lucky Daye — “Faces”
- Duckwrth, Georgia Anne Muldrow — “GET UUGLY”
- NoMBe — “Freak Like Me”
For romantic, sweet, soppy sex:
- The Internet — “Wanna Be”
- Free Nationals, Daniel Caesar, Unknown Mortal Orchestra — “Beauty & Essex”
- Berhana — “Janet”
- Ari Lennox, Dreamville, Cozz — “Backseat”
- Leon Bridges — “Mrs.”
- Ab-Soul, Mac Miller, Rapsody — “The Law”
- Alabama Shakes — “This Feeling”
- Dre’es, Mia — “Warm”
- Nai Palm — “Atoll”
- Smino — “Ruby Red”
- PREP — “Cheapest Flight”
- NxWorries — “Lyk Dis”
- Rhye — “Open”
Brat Baby is a student at Cornell University. Pillow Princess Diaries runs alternate Sex on Thursdays this semester. Sex on Thursday runs every Thursday this semester.