I think my subconscious is trying to tell me something. It isn’t the usual stress or dormant fears of the omicron variant, but that I’m incredibly horny and as one my best friends put it, “in need of a good fucking.” It’s been a few months since I have had sex or kissed someone, and my subconscious is very much aware.
In between family comradery and overstuffing myself over Thanksgiving break, frequent naps were a common theme. Each time I awoke I vividly remembered a graphic sex dream. I’m talking the kind of sex that is so urgent you lift the skirt up and don’t even bother taking it off. The sex dreams that bring to life a fantasy you never knew you had. The sex dreams that come during puberty before you have even had sex, but you know you want it.
So, you may ask, what will I do with said dreams? Will I go out like a normal girl and wear the Urban Outfitters corset top with leather pants and pick up a random frat guy or athlete with a condom in their back pocket? The kind of guy that always gets lucky, and it’s only a matter of being at the right place at the right time. Or will I go on Tinder, find an attractive enough guy who looks safe and invite him over? My answer is neither. I’m too weird and awkward for that, and introverted. I need to know them a little to feel that attraction.What will I do? I will take out my vibrator and generic brand lube and take care of it myself. But I will also admit that as much as I love masturbation and have since I was twelve, there is still an itch it doesn’t scratch. There is something about someone kissing your neck and the feeling of a body on top of you. It isn’t just about the orgasm, which most guys won’t give you anyway. FYI, learn to come hither and stop using your finger like a drill. There is something about human connection. The idea of someone pleasuring you and you pleasuring them is so satisfying. In a way, we crave the intimacy of sex as much as the pleasure. We crave being close to someone in a way we don’t experience with our friends or family. It is a whole other way of someone knowing and understanding you. I think for women this is especially important. As we all know, women tend to require more foreplay than men for sex. In health class, you may have heard a cringey analogy comparing men to microwaves and women to ovens; women need time to warm up. I’ve even heard many women say they enjoy foreplay more than the act of sex itself. The buildup is sexier than sex. I think that’s what I’m missing. Yes, I miss sex. But the truth is, I also miss sexual intimacy with another person. We don’t necessarily need sexual pleasure because we can all do that for ourselves, but there is something more to sex. Something about the experience involving another person. In some cases, what women get the most turned on by is the idea that someone wants them. So yes, the horniess I have can’t be fixed by a vibrator, so I can either nut up or shut up?
Girl With No Game is a student at Cornell University. Comments can be sent to editor–[email protected]. The Sexless Sex Column runs during alternate Sex on Thursdays this semester.