Dear Humble Horned-Up Readers,
This week, the Lady With No Game has evaded her responsibilities in order to immerse herself in the glittering gilded world that is Netflix’s Bridgerton. I’m even guilty of hiding my headphones and watching the show in class. The hopeless romantic and future gold digger in me can’t resist the world of opulence and courting — the balls, the dresses and the lineup of gorgeous men. Yet, this season didn’t have the same appeal as the last. It wasn’t lady porn, but I managed to be equally as addicted. As much as I am obsessed, I represent one of over 63 million viewers. My love is not unique, but it may be unrequited.
The truth is, Bridgerton unlocks a hidden desire in all of us. It’s the desire for romance. The desire for sex to come after getting to know someone and confessing feelings. A desire for the sensual over the sexual. The popularity of the show and more particularly this season shows a cultural shift. We are no longer repressing our desire for romance in favor of casual sex. I hate to say it, but feelings are a natural part of life. They are, in a lot of ways, what make us human, and our very purpose in life. The show explores the strength of the feelings we have, and truthfully — this next part is going to make me throw up in my mouth — the inability to suppress them. The characters struggle to come to terms with their feelings along with the rational elements of obligation. Though — omg the puke is coming — love conquers all. Sex comes when these feelings are admitted. In a weird way, viewers are rewarded with their beloved sex scenes when they come to terms with the undeniability of love.
Millions of women poured their hearts out on Twitter, and many were infatuated with Anthony’s profession of love for Kate. Through his gorgeous lips, he says, “You are the bane of my existence and the object of all my desires. Night and day, I dream of you. And what I . . . Do you even know all the ways a lady can be seduced?” Yes, I have a full lady boner after reading that, and it would still be there even if he wasn’t gorgeous. The full Nile river flowing. The show captures that feeling we all secretly want to have with a partner. The feeling that we are special (wait, I just threw up again). The feeling that there is something inherently unique to us that our partner recognizes, that we are the only one for them and that there is no one else that could ever replace us. The feeling that there is an undeniable attraction that is so natural it feels like breathing, and to reject that desire would be a fate worse than death.
We want this, but on a daily basis, we settle for a “u up?” text or a disingenuous forehead kiss we can pretend meant something. The sex-positivity movement is amazing. It is incredible that women are empowered to enjoy sex, and take the stigma and shame away from the act, but it leads to hookup culture. Listen, hookup culture isn’t all bad, but I think we need to learn some things from Bridgerton. Take the sexism and elitism away from the series, but we should borrow the idea of courting. I don’t mean during the summer months we girls have our moms escort us to our coming out in front of the queen and find us a worthy suitor with long sideburns. But this actually sounds great to me and seems no different from the country club scene I grew up immersed in. I trust my mom to find someone for me more than myself. Beyond this, though, we take the courting desire to make those we are interested in feel special. To get to know them before we deflower each other.
All my love,
The Lady With No Game ( enjoy your deflowering ;))
Girl With No Game is a student at Cornell University. Comments can be sent to [email protected] The Sexless Sex Column runs during alternate Sex on Thursdays this semester.