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May 4, 2022

Arts & Culture Section to Shut Down After Writing About Everything — And We Mean Everything 

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Less than a year after our rebranding, the Arts & Culture section is shutting down. While we did become embroiled in an unfortunate payola scandal last year (the allegations of which were false, by the way) we are instead ceasing publication because we have simply run out of things to write about (and definitely not because we wasted our funding on NFTs while trying to recover from the aforementioned scandal).

Nothing is ever original; after all, every creative work is simply a retooling of the same themes.

In their eagerness to write articles covering as many of the latest pieces of media and trends, our writers have gone above and beyond — and run out of things to write about. Even our columnists, most of whom have left for other countries in search of more article topics, find themselves empty-handed. 

Every song on every album, every movie, show, performance – any artistic work you can think of — has been covered. And don’t even get us started on the “culture” part of our section; we might have expanded the scope of the section, but there is simply not enough culture in our lives to continue dedicating a whole section towards it. From praises and recommendations to scathing reviews and thought-provoking commentary, the Arts & Culture section has really done it all in its time at The Sun. 

“But wait,” you inevitably ask, “Won’t there be new content to write articles about?” To an extent, you’d be right. There are always going to be new movies, new music and new cultural happenings. However, what we have realized is that we simply have nothing more to say about art or culture in any form, at all, ever. Because at the end of the day, are there really any new opinions? Sure, we can continue publishing reviews, but there are only so many ways you can make “I enjoyed it” or “I didn’t enjoy it” into a 500+ word commentary. 

So, dear readers, we must regretfully inform you that you will hear from our section no more. Farewell.