As a kid, it took me a while to embrace my body and sexuality. Even now my instinct was to censor this article title or provide a trigger warning to avoid grossing anyone out, but that is WRONG! We can trace humanity back to a time where having a vagina made you worthy of worship, and dammit, I want to reclaim that divinity.
I was lucky enough to have a mother who I, for the most part, felt comfortable asking questions to and sharing concerns with. Not everyone was as fortunate as I was, and I imagine the emotional labyrinth of puberty and self acceptance was even more difficult for them. Now that I’m pretty much past the fear and confusion part of “blossoming into a woman” (or so I hope), I want to use my experience to address some of the more stigmatized questions that I wish someone had answered for me, or that I had felt comfortable enough to ask.
1. Am I supposed to shave down there? Am I allowed to shave down there? How do I shave down there? First of all, you’re not supposed to do anything. If embracing the bush makes you happy, beautiful. If you’d prefer to be smooth as a seal, I love that for you. If anyone ever makes you feel like you’re too hairy, not hairy enough or anything besides perfect with the exact amount of pubic hair you’re sporting, they don’t have the right to see your pubic hair (or lack thereof), in the first place. I wouldn’t let a tinder match redecorate my apartment, so why should they be allowed to redecorate my body, or criticize the decorations I already have. Your vagina is your temple, and everyone has their own decor preferences. On that note, you’re allowed to decorate however the fuck you want.
Secondly, if shaving yourself smooth is your prerogative, I can’t provide explicit instructions. There is no owner’s manual on the proper way to shave one’s cooch (although someone should work on that), and unfortunately it is all part of the lovely and hopelessly annoying journey into femininity. The only advice I can give is to avoid the internet like the plague. You will end up with ingrown hairs, expensive products that give you rashes, body shame and somehow still not the result you were hoping for. Seek out another trusted vagina-owner and ask them for advice. A friend, family member, someone you trust. And I recommend coconut oil.
2. Is it supposed to smell like that? Probably. I mean, unless something is really off down there, you’re most likely fine. While your vagina may be your metaphorical flower, it is not supposed to smell like one, and any product marketing to make you smell like lavender and fairy dust is NOT good for your body. Your beautiful, godsent organ fosters the flawless levels of bacteria necessary to fend off foreign infection and keep your temple safe and clean, even if that means smelling not-so-much like rose petals. Messing with that delicate chemical balance could mean germicide invasion, and nobody wants that. If you’re really feeling insecure about that smell, try dabbing some perfume on your hip bones far away from any orifice, that will do the trick.
3. When am I allowed to use a vibrator? If you’re wondering and capable, you’re probably good to make that Amazon order.
4. Should I ask my doctor about that? Yes. Always yes. Stop and ask yourself why you’re even considering that question… If your arms were breaking out in hives or secreting a strangely colored liquid, would you think twice about going to see a doctor? No. So why think twice when it comes to your vagina? It’s just another organ and should be treated with the same care and attention as your kidney or stomach.
5. Is mine weird? Definitely not. Again, your body is your temple. Shape, size, color, hair; if you don’t judge others for the way their faces look, why should you judge the lips between their hips? If we all looked the same, sex would be boring and there would be no point in exploring. I know it’s easier said than done, but try to embrace your body, regardless of the flavor of the month.
Annie Position is a student at Cornell University. Comments can be sent to [email protected]. The Sin Series runs during alternate Sex on Thursdays this semester.