April 20, 2023

SEX ON THURSDAY | Fornicating on 4/20

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As many readers may know, today marks a sacred holiday for much of the Cornell community: April 20th; devil’s lettuce day; hashish holiday; 4/20. Whether the holiday originates from a group of juvenile delinquents in California, from celebration of the passing of a medical marijuana bill by the senate or a sneaky play on a police code to signal youth marijuana use, it is on this sacred day that those choosing to indulge light up in unison — at 4:20 PM — to celebrate their beloved psychoactive stimulant. It is a beautiful day of togetherness, community and of course, getting as high as a kite when you should be in class.

To honor this revered holiday — and for the purposes of this column — I am using today to unpack the multitude of ways weed manifests itself during 4/20 fornication. From the dissociate to the giggler, here are all of the different options you should be prepared for should you choose to get spicy on the 20th of April.

  1. The Dissociate – Have you ever gotten so high that you can feel the grass talking to you? Or maybe the characters in Big Mouth are speaking to you a little too directly? Perhaps you find yourself hyper-fixating on the same spot in your carpet for one to three hours… If any of these sound like familiar pot-pastimes to you, it is possible that you could be a sexual dissociate under the influence of the devil’s grass. Anyone who has ever had sex with someone who seemed out of focus, bored or simply not present will probably tell you that it isn’t fun, and unfortunately, weed-induced dissociation during sex could come off as a lack of interest. It may not be worth the risk unless you’re with a well established partner who knows your tendencies well enough to accept your lack of focus during dope dicking.
  1. The Insta-Nut – The insta-nut is exactly what it sounds like. It’s no secret that being high can heighten the intensity of your senses, and unfortunately it can make sex feel a little too good. For those sporting a vulva, this may not be a problem; in fact, it could be an enhancement. Same goes for those phallic members who have more than one round per rodeo in them… But for my one-and-done delights out there, being an insta-nut could be the demise of your cooked copulating.

The flipside of the insta-nut is the never-nutter, who just can’t find it in them to finish if their mind has been marijuana buzzed. For some this is beneficial, for others not, but who really enjoys not getting off?

  1. The Munch – It only takes one or two times hitting the high before one knows whether or not they’re prone to Mother Nature’s call to munch. And if you’re afflicted with the curse, you know that anything and everything is on the table. In some cases, this is not limited to a loved one’s sex organ. As someone who enjoys both giving and receiving, I can’t think of any cons to this sexy side effect, but if you can, feel free to email and let me know.
  1. The Giggler – The Giggler is loosely related to the Insta-Nut, without the same risk of immediate climax, while also sharing the irresistible urge element ever present in The Munch. That is, no matter what The Giggler is doing or receiving, the Giggler will giggle. Laughing during sex is typically regarded as an especially intimate action, but this is not necessarily that kind of laugh. The Giggler’s giggle is distracting, uncontrollable and even sometimes accompanied by involuntary bodily convulsions, which can be very disruptive in times of intimacy! If your partner understands that the giggles come from a place of bliss and enjoyment, it can still be intimate. Otherwise, you may be risking an uncomfortable situation,  so proceed  with caution.

I am sure I haven’t covered all the bases, but I hope to have provided a glimpse into the world behind the curtains every year on this esteemed day. With that, I now task you to go forth, light up, and bake for the sake of 4/20!

Annie Position is a student at Cornell University. Comments can be sent to [email protected]. The Sin Series runs during alternate Sex on Thursdays this semester.