I don’t remember what song was playing when I lost my virginity. I know it was some specimen of British drill but, outside of that detail, my memory becomes much more centralized on the sweaty leather back seat of a Honda Accord and the uncomfortable and embarrassing attempts of inexperienced kids to fit foreign body parts together.
Since then, I’ve had sex to a number of notable background audios… Some I’m more proud of than others, from The Bee Movie to The Smiths. And of course, there has been plenty of quiet copulation drizzled in amongst the rest. But after so many years of sexual activity, I’m finally beginning to wonder: Is a sex playlist necessary? And if so, is there a perfect one?
First, the non-negotiable: A sex playlist is absolutely necessary. This doesn’t mean it needs to be used every time a sexcapade presents itself… In fact, sometimes the hottest parts of sex are dependent on a lack of outside sound: Having to stay perfectly silent to avoid exposing yourself to a nearby flatmate, or being completely invested in the indicative breadths escaping your partner. But at the end of the day, it is far better for an existing playlist to go unused than to need one and not have it, and there are situations in which music is a must. For example, I personally believe that silent sex is inherently intimate, which suggests that casual sex should not be silent. If I’m hooking up after a first date or with someone I don’t see myself being intimate with in the long term, I would prefer something in the foreground to cover up embarrassing sounds, vocal slips, etc. Also, it can be very endearing — and a powerful character judgment tool — to see what a new partner turns on when you’re about to get down and dirty for the first time.
This is precisely why artists have been creating “sex music” for years; from classics like Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On,” to modern delicacies like SZA’s “Snooze.” (To each their own, of course). If there wasn’t a demand, there wouldn’t be such a supply.
All of this is to say that the risk of not having a reliable procreation playlist on the queue far exceeds the reward of having one. And given the twenty-first century’s culture of public playlists and music sharing, there is relatively no labor required to keep a situationally necessary playlist in your back pocket. One quick Spotify search reveals a double-digit number of pre-curated “Songs To Get Down To” playlists (some of them terrifying — I strongly advise reviewing the contents before hitting “shuffle”). Plus, for my creatives out there, assembling your own collection of groovy get-downs can be an exciting — and dare I say, arousing – activity in itself, especially if you make it a shared task with a regular partner. So, if you don’t have a couple of songs ready to accompany some seven minutes in heaven, it’s time to bite the bullet and make one.
This brings us to the next nail-biting curiosity: Does a perfect sex playlist exist?
If you came here hoping for me to drop my collection of foolproof getting-dicked-down tunes, think again; I’m not that easy. So instead I will come clean and say that I truly think the answer to this question is no. A flawless combination of music to enhance the universal and ever-diverse sexual experience doesn’t exist, and to claim so is no better than claiming that there is one food to satisfy every human’s taste buds. Blasphemy.
A sex playlist is crucial, and there is no universal one, which is all part of the appeal. Just as each sexual encounter is unique, so too are the vibes required to get it up, get it in and get it on. British drill did not do it for me, but I’m sure it does for some; all the more power to them. With this, I encourage you all: Go forth into this digital world of limitless tempos, lyricism, and energy, and find what you’d like to fuck to.
Annie Position is a student at Cornell University. Comments can be sent to [email protected]. Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby runs during alternate Sex on Thursdays this semester.
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