On the eve of Thanksgiving, this Cornell senior and seasoned Friendsgiving veteran wants to dispense some advice on how to throw a fun, delicious and drama-free Friendsgiving party. Here are some of my core tips:
The Spreadsheet
I think the single most critical aspect of a successful Friendsgiving is the spreadsheet. I’d recommend making a group chat for the honored guests and sharing a blank Google Sheet or Doc, so people can add what they plan on bringing.
I don’t recommend assigning dishes. People tend to have their own recipes, budgets and kitchen limits in mind. For example, someone may not have an oven at their place, or even a saucepan. You don’t want to put anyone in an awkward position of cooking an entire turkey in a dorm kitchen, and you also don’t want to insult a seasoned baker by having them bring a tub of cranberries.
I’ve found it’s best to let people do what they’re best at, and not obsess over fulfilling certain menu requirements. The wannabe chefs with proper kitchen setups will pull out the big guns and make the staples, and the dorm dwellers and microwave meal connoisseurs will bring the cheese from 7/11. Both are essential and valuable contributions either way!
The spreadsheet is also a good way to see who’s actually planning on coming, as college students aren’t really the type to formally RSVP.
The Spread
If you’re having a large Friendsgiving, paper plates, plastic silverware, paper napkins and plastic cups are your friend. I’ve found that between drinks, appetizers, the main course and dessert, no college student will own enough reusable plates and utensils for everyone.
It’s a good rule of thumb to have non-alcoholic beverage options in addition to boozy ones. Besides being accommodating, the guests will be eating lots of salty foods and will need to be properly hydrated. There’s lots of potential for spiced holiday beverages — I swear by my Norwegian family’s glogg recipe.
For food, don’t sweat ticking off every single traditional dish. Honestly, one of my favorite parts of Friendsgiving is sampling the unique dishes different families and cultures enjoy for the holiday.
The Guest List
Friendsgivings are fun because you don’t only get to hang out with your usual friends; you also meet new ones through mutuals. Nothing brings people together from different groups like the promise of a giant feast.
As a host, it’s important to be realistic and considerate of any boundaries and space considerations that you have in your dorm or apartment. For instance, if you want to have over 30 friends, there’s a chance your shoddy C-town house may collapse inwards. Or if you live in a shared space, make sure your housemates, roommates and floormates are either invited or on board with the celebrations.
And as a guest, it’s important to have ample situational awareness. If the host says bring anyone, go for it, but have common sense. If you have a buddy you really want to bring but they aren’t invited, check with the host if you think it won’t strain their space or party. These situations are usually pretty, well, situational, and what’s most important is being sensitive and thoughtful to the host and fellow guests — because the host is bound to be overwhelmed as it is.
Etiquette
Do not wait until the last minute: plan and schedule Friendsgiving well in advance of the actual date, as to give your guests plenty of time to acquire ingredients and prepare or pick up their dishes.
Help the hosts clean up. Offer to help in the kitchen if the chefs look overwhelmed — but stay out of the way if it’s crowded and chaotic. Use good table manners. Don’t be a freeloader and show up empty-handed.
Everyone present should be aware of any dietary restrictions and allergies — ideally, the only reason an ambulance should be called at Friendsgiving is for food comas.
Most importantly, don’t be like Peppermint Patty in Charlie Brown Thanksgiving and let sky-high expectations ruin festivities. Being ambitious can make for a fun celebration, but also be realistic. You’re a bunch of college students — it will be far from perfect and that’s ok.
Have Fun
Pick a festive dress theme! Make some cool decorations. Craft a playlist, I highly recommend including the Vince Guaraldi Trio. Take lots of pictures, especially candid ones. Besides food, there’s plenty of fun activities to be done at a college Friendsgiving: karaoke, cards, board games, outdoor sports, star gazing, holiday movies … and Cayuga Lake is always good for a polar plunge!
Most importantly, enjoy being together. Remember what you’re thankful for. As stressful as Cornell can be sometimes, we have so much to be thankful for, and so much to look forward to. We’re lucky to be here, and even more lucky to have each other.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Aurora Weirens is a fourth year student in the College of Arts & Sciences. Her fortnightly column The Northern Light illuminates student life. She can be reached at [email protected].