I have to admit, I am not an avid follower of Mac Miller’s musical career. I know only two things about him: that from 2016-2018 he dated Ariana Grande, and that shortly after their breakup he tragically passed away. Which is why, last Friday, I was flabbergasted when a Spotify notification implored me to “stream Balloonerism: Mac Miller’s newest album.” This name that meant almost nothing to me two weeks ago all of a sudden occupied my thoughts 24/7, affecting every conversation I had with my loved ones and consuming my daily life. Picture me, a grizzled small-town detective slumped at my grimy desk with a cigarette dangling from my lips, desperately trying to crack how Mac Miller was operating in the music industry from beyond the grave. I felt like I was going mad (and my detective office burned down due to my indoor smoking habit). I’m writing this article so my detective work doesn’t go to waste, and I hope the die-hard fans out there won’t be too annoyed that I’m only now discovering things you’ve been aware of for years. To those of you who, like me, were unfamiliar with the deep lore of this album, I am warning you not to listen to Balloonerism unless you’re willing to risk becoming a Mac Miller fan.
Mac Miller, born Malcolm James McCormick on Jan 19, 1992, has a distinct lyrical style that evolved from “frat rap” in the late 2000s to hip hop with R&B, funk and jazz influences. In addition to his popular albums, such as K.I.D.S. and Blue Slide Park, Miller’s many unreleased SoundCloud mixtapes have been revered by fans for years. His family began approving the posthumous release of his unfinished albums in 2019, which is why non-fans like me are now discovering his old music. Miller recorded a slurry of tracks in 2014 that reflect his struggles of transitioning from his original record label, Rostrum Records, to the self-founded REMember Music. Many went on to become Faces, a Soundcloud mixtape that only became widely distributed in 2021. Fans will recognize Balloonerism as the long-lost sister to Faces from their matching musical styles and similar themes.
Balloonerism contains 14 tracks of mellow R&B with heartbreakingly introspective lyrics about Miller’s struggles with fame, addiction and substance abuse in 2014. The few songs of his I knew were from K.I.D.S., Miller’s happy-go-lucky era, so I really didn’t expect to be punched in the gut by tracks like “Funny Papers” and “Excelsior.” The dreamy vocals of SZA are featured on “DJ’s Chord Organ,” creating a more instrumental and jazzy vibe than I was expecting. After listening to Faces as well, I can see why the two fit together: Miller’s mind was obviously clouded with depression at the time, and writing was his therapy. He reflects almost flippantly about life, death and the dark side of fame, lyrics that hit even harder six years after his career was tragically cut short. I’m a fan of the sixth track, “Stoned,” in which Miller writes in sympathy for a girl who seems to be struggling with life. Whether or not “she” is a stand-in character for Miller himself, the song alludes to drug use as an escape from worldly troubles. A somber electric guitar riff echoes through the chorus as Miller sings the heartbreaking line, “I swear to God heaven feels just like home / Let’s go home.” The cover art for the album is Picasso-esque, a piece that according to his family was commissioned by Miller himself. “It was a project that was of great importance to Malcolm,” they shared in a statement on Instagram. Miller’s head is depicted as a giant balloon, the features topsy-turvy, dragging along a silhouette as it ascends into the sky. Maybe it’s a metaphor for how Miller felt, trapped in his own head with scrambled thoughts that threatened to uplift him from reality. Whatever the case, it pairs well with the psychedelic atmosphere of the music. It’s clear that Mr. Miller had a vision for this project.
At this point in my detective journey, I had gathered that somewhere there was a whole network of Mac Miller fans keeping tabs on his unreleased SoundCloud mixtapes. And, as a seasoned sleuth, I knew of one place where online fandom is sure to thrive. That’s how I found myself browsing the Mac Miller subreddit to find out what his day-ones had to say about Balloonerism. The fandom has been busy in the last week sharing their top track picks, album-inspired artwork and thoughts on the project. One fan shared a picture of an old CD with “Mac Miller Balloonerism” scrawled on it in sharpie, a burned copy that they made and kept in their car, next to the new official CD dawning the same title in dreamlike cursive. This tracklist, so new and unfamiliar to me, obviously means a lot to a whole community of fans. Reading the SubReddit made me glad that the project has finally come to fruition, but I also got the sense that it leaves a bittersweet taste in fans’ mouths. Reddit user Macs_aquarium put this sensation into words better than I can:
“When listening to Balloonerism, I can’t help but have the feeling that I am listening [to] the potential Mac had that had already been realized but was left incomplete. … While Balloonerism is a great opportunity to hear more of Mac’s music, I can’t help but feel a deep longing for the Grammy-winning, genre-bending, chart-topping, bar-raising music that I know was in Mac’s future. We will never have that. And that is a tragedy.”
It’s true that we will never get to see the young musician reap the full benefits of his talent and fame. Mac Miller’s career was shortened unjustly, but his legacy is sealed in a time capsule of unreleased work that is still leaving imprints on the music industry. We may not get to see his music grow and change throughout his adult life, but these posthumous releases give old and new fans a chance to discover more about the person he was while alive.
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Maya Blanchard is a junior in the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences. She can be reached at [email protected].