Simple start to the new column, but it's what must be done. The great weather is the perfect time to get on your ass and get stoned.
Am I high while writing this? For legal purposes, no, but in a hypothetical scenario where a college student was writing a newspaper column about marijuana, it would only seem right.
The possibilities of how different this world could have been with more weed are endless. Maybe if Caesar smoked a blunt with Brutus, he wouldn’t have been stabbed. Maybe if Squidward lit one up every morning, he wouldn’t be so stuck up. If we all smoked weed, would our society be more advanced? These are the questions we must explore and will in this column.
And, of course, we only dabble in affairs within the realm of legality.
There’s a lot of marijuana in the world, so here’s a little guide on how to get your hands on some of the good stuff.
Price:
The first and most basic aspect to consider when buying a pre-roll. Luckily for you, you’re not buying cocaine in bulk, so knowing how much to pay for what really isn’t that complicated. You just need to know the basic starting points.
In almost any situation anywhere, an average-strength joint of regular quality probably costs $10, so use it for comparison if you’re buying other weed. Some places may have deals that let you get them for cheaper if you buy more, and some joints may be more expensive, either because you’re getting ripped off or it has better marijuana. The latter can be great, but in my experience often fails to fully live up to the expectations of paying a higher price.
You’ll want to avoid the former, since freeloading jackasses will inevitably smoke half your roach and if the weed is bad and expensive it will only make it all the worse. But of course, if you’re not an idiot about choosing your rotation, you should be fine.
So a $10 joint is definitely valid, especially if you are a new user. Buying a higher quality joint isn’t a bad thing, but I would recommend it more for someone who could feel the difference, and may not feel as many of the effects as they desire from small amounts of cheap weed.
But if you are buying your first joint, that is definitely not necessary. So, if you go into an establishment to purchase a jay and ask for a $10 pre-roll, it's hard to go wrong.
Milligrams:
The number of milligrams doesn’t really matter, especially with a joint. If you are getting a joint for the right price, it will probably have a fairly average mass. A joint that weighs about a gram will probably contain somewhere around 175-250mg of THC, which is what is actually getting you high.
But that number isn’t something to sit and analyze. Tons of different factors affect a high; where you smoked, how you inhaled, how much you ate, who you’re with, how active you are, how tired you are, etc.
If you’re smoking with a bunch of bums taking sub-par hits standing around like robots, lock in, because you're going to want to rip through that piece.
When you’re smoking a joint, especially outside, a good chunk of the jay can burn into the air. Don’t compare the amount of THC in a joint to an edible, as those are just different. Attempting to get the same high two times by trying to ingest the same amount of milligrams almost definitely will not work. Be on nonchalant timing and just rip through whatever you're feeling at the moment.
As long as you’re not ripping through an entire joint and a half in your first take, you should be good. Roaches can always be saved for later.
Indica, Sativa, THC and CBD:
Simply put, sativa has energizing effects and indica has calming effects. Indica makes you more chill and gives a body high, sativa induces a head high and possibly increased energy.
Sativa is the basic plant used for joints, but if you really want to have a mellow experience, buying indica is definitely worth it.
In terms of THC and CBD, most joints will have mostly THC or only THC, since it’s the compound that actually gets you high. The amount of THC is really the only amount needed to be focused on.
As long as you're not a 70-year-old looking for pain relief from their recent hip surgery, CBD serves little purpose.
Other Great Practices to Know:
Most joints will have some sort of flavor, but it doesn’t really matter. The only difference is sometimes the smell, but the smell of the actual weed overwhelms it.
I would tell you what is best to buy if you’re trying to use it while getting down to the dirty, but unfortunately I lack enough experience in the matter to know.
If you’re going to be dealing with a large amount of joints sometime soon, and aren’t going to be smoking a full joint every time, a good holder is a very worthy investment.
That’s essentially the way the land was laid. Hopefully you now know enough to get faded the next time you’re seeing the vision. Lock in to being locked out.
Paul Allen can be reached at paul.allen@cornellsun.com.
